1988_03 The Daily Collegian March 1988

              P«gg2   Tuesday, March 6,1988
Opinion
When you're hours closer to a degree
el Western
If not for higher education, I would
never have taken up writing as a profession. Not, as you may think, because I
attribute my love of words to my
teachers. Because I don't
But because without the countless
hours of boredom that they provided me
at stale expense, I would have been left
adrift in a world full of books, beaches
and Love Boat reruns.
If left lo my own devices, sitting
slumped over a stack of notebooks,
working until my sweat smelled sweet
and pungent, would have seemed a selfish
chore.
That is why when I read in Sunday's
Los Angeles Times about a woman who,
when she was 16, graduated from high
school and decided to educate herself, I
was amazed
Her name is Kendall Hailcy and she is,
now 21. Hailcy has written two novels
and acted in a play she wrote. Friday, her
third book, "The Day I Became an
Autodidact," hit the book stores.
Auto for self and didact for learned.
Hailcy told the reporter from the Times
that higher education was suicide-
provoking and the thought of four years
in a university depressed her.
I understand, of course, that not every
16-ycar-old is equipped with the self-
discipline—or even a reference point, for
that matter—with which to navigate the
course to higher learning alone.
Bui Hailcy is not from the typical
Southern California family. Her mother
and father are both authors and
playwrights and she has traveled the world
extensively
1 read the Hailcy story the same day I
found an old notebook of mine from last
semester. In it, I scribbled some notes
and observations during the course of a
two-hour English class.
The notes describe the kind of higher
education Hailcy was trying to avoid And
I see her point.
The next ten or so inches of type arc
the notes reprinted from my book. I will
add that 1 failed the class of which I write
and that it was my own fault.
It had less to do with the course than
with a million other pressures in my life
at the time. Still. 1 think it will provide
some small insight into the mind of a
student ijuietly going mad
The class, bored tranquil and stupid.
breathed a sleepy breath.
He stared stupidly at the open book in
his lap.
La the idiots answer the questions, he
thought, this isn't scholarship. This is
mental masturbation, Kicking a dead
horse until there's nothing left to kick
A 40-ycar-old bom-again Christian,
forever defending truth, justice and the
American way. picks at every sexual
reference with her sharp binMike voice.
Like a starving chicken picking insects
from the dirt, she tears into reference she
thinks is sordid and secular. Hoorah!
Chalk one up for Christ This angry old
bitch is carrying His cause into the class
and heating us over the head with il
Today wc arc reading a criticism of a
criticism of a cnticism ol a work by an
author 150 years dead
Another woman, also in her 30s or
40s, wears an idiotic grin for the entire
period When she speaks, a thick gurgling
sound in her voice suggests a repressed
laugh, as if it is only a matter of time
before she explodes. When no one is
looking at her—lhat is, when she thinks
no one is kwking—ihe fast-fading smile
looks like a painful contortion.
The woman by the door wears
everything she learns in this class on her
sleeve.
The words she learns here, she applies
to her vocabulary like she applies her
makeup to her face. Silting there with an
arrogance thai should not go unpunished.
And next io her, that idiot who looks
like the great American author we're
talking about. I would punish him too,
but his mother did enough. She gave him
an ancient, ugly name. His fate is sealed.
The class, bored lethargic and stupid,
too lazy to look at the clock, wait
sleepily for the next reading.
And that bovine redhead staring
stupidly at the professor. His eyelids open
and close at the pace 1 have only seen on
a cow chewing its cud.
His pant cuffs rest a comfortable two-
inches above his ankles. Black dress
socks hold Ught to his legs and contrast
wildly with his beige tennis shoes.
A cream-colored sweater with blue and
brown stripes bags clumsily on ihe loose
while belly. A pained expression on his
pasty white face and a hairline that starts
more than eight inches above his
crumpled eyebrows give the impression
of a learned writer.
But the real man comes in Ihe surface
when his voice, a sort of high-pitched
whine, begins to rattle off some condescending interpretation of the literature at
hand. He is fond of adopting a rather high
moral tone and horn that pedestal,
lecturing down to the rest of us.
Why do I think that most people arc
idiots? Does it mean lhat I need
psychological help, or can I tap into that
anger and let it flavor my writing? Like J.
D. Salinger.
Maybe I'm growing. Maybe I'm
helping them put the straight jacket on.
I don't know.
I don't know.
A paper. They want a paper tomorrow
I'm just not sure I can turn a short
analysis into ten pages of mason. And
yet, does the professor really want reason'
And eveiytime the pressure builds up.
everytime I want to go screaming out of
my life, I do some small thing. Have a
beer, take a nap or watch T.V. and all the
fnistration is shoved back into the depths
of my soul, where, like a rotting piece of
meat, it (aims all that it is near. I'm sick.
I want to quiL
I'm convinced, beyond all doubts, that
the two main,and most important, ingredients in higher education, are boredom
and triviality.
This guy, the one turning a four-page
story into an hour and a half lecture,
where will he be in 10 years? What will
he be doing lo earn a living?
The class, bored stupid and smiling.
shuffles out the door, two hours closer to
a degree.
Cael Weston's column appear* tver-f
ntlu-r lucsday in The Daily Collegium
Reader
Response
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The Daily Collegian, KealsCampus Building California State University Fresno, Fresno, California 93740-0042. Letters must be
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'Rumors'
Dear Editor.
"Rumors* have been spreading
around the dorms about two resident
advisers opening a package that was
addressed to a resident's room. The
"rumor" was confirmed by senior resident adviser. Dave Black, who said
that ihe assistant director of housing
"talked to them about it." We dorm
residents feel that it would be a very
good idea for housing officials to do
more than just "talk."
This is a gross and negligent invasion of privacy to everyone in the
dorms, where privacy is a very rare,
valuable thing. The fact that these
R.A.s were stupid and that they have
proven themselves incompetent for
mail ditties does not lessen this crime
any more than the fact that it is just a
resident's mail that was tampered with
does.
I fail to be assured that this crime
will not happen again by merely scolding these R.A.s like they were preschoolers who refuse to share crayons.
As far as I can see, a mere tongue-lashing is nowhere near enough for such a
serious federal offense. More must be
done!
Sincerely,
John Harnett.
an angry resident
God cleans house
Pear Editor.
This is in response to the article
Jon Matsune wrote entiiled "You give
God a bad name—Amen." First off, I
don't want Mr. Matsune Lo think that I
am angry at him—I am more hurt. 1
am just as upset to sec the downfalls
of Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker
and I do not condone their behavior. 1
just wish that the world that dislikes
the hypocritical side of these people
could see a more positive and true representation of Christianity. 1 am a
Christian and I am turned off when I
see a TV evangelist plead for money
or present a very dramatic or theatrical
service. Not all church services or pastors behave in this fashion. God is
cleaning  house  by removing, these
people but it is sad, however, because
by seeing their downfalls it is very
easy to turn a back completely on
Christianity. I can tell you. Mr. Matsune, that I am not perfect nor do 1
claim to be. I just wish lhat you could
experience the wonderful rewards of being a Christian—it is really worth the
struggle.
Melany Roberts
'Love your neighbor*'
Dear Editor.
Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as
yourself." But the Christians were anxious to justify themselves and said.
"Who is my neighbor?"
Tune for the parable:
A man, woman and child were on
iheir way home when they were set
upon by outlaws. One was killed, the
other two were left for dead. Now a
preacher read about ii in the newspaper. He turned the page. Fresno
Slate Christians remembered Cliffe's
recommendation to keep your head
buried in the New Testament and passed on by. But a non-Bible thumping
student came upon these Nicaraguans
and was moved with compassion and
bandaged their wounds and left money
to help repair the damage.
I agree wiih CUffe that the Jesus of
the New Testament is credible. What
is incredible is the unwillingness of
many Christians to deal with the real
world. The Gospels do not recount the
history of lhe USA-backed Somo/a
regime, nor reports of whal lhe Sandinistas have done to improve life for
many Nicaraguans, nor the truth about
the Contras.
Seek out lhe credible sources of in-
formauon about Nicaragua. The Nic-
araguan people have as much nghl to
be understood accurately as Jesus does.
Bert Haverkatc-Ens
Religion respected
Dear Editor.
Recently in my political science
class, the professor made ihe following statement: "Moses was a liar, he
went behind some comer and wrote a
bunch of commandments on tablets,
presented them to the people and said
that God had given him these tablets."
He then went on to state that Jesus
was a liar, Mohammed was a liar and
several other prophets who are central
to many people's religious beliefs wer
liars. These statements were never qualified with the words "in my opinion"
or "as far as I'm concerned." In other
words, all religions are based on a lie!
Since I was not certain he realized
how offensive his statements were, 1
chose to bring this' to his attention
after class. I was told that I could not
discuss my point with him unless I
could use logic as my basis for argu-
Please see LETTERS, page 11
The Daily Collegian
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