1988_02 The Daily Collegian February 1988

              Entertainment
Friday, February 12,1968 Page 7
m
ow and Flutter-
Danger, Will Robinson, Danger
THE BEST OF SCIENCE
FICTION TV
John J a vna
(Harmony Books; 144pp.)
By T. James Madison
Entertainment Editor
"There are those who believe
Lhat life here began out there, far
across the universe, with tribes of
humans who may have been the
forefathers of the Egyptians, or
theToltecs. or the Mayans..."
Cm ild they possibly be talking
ahout Black Sabbath'? No. ihe
dbovt* passage was (he prologue
thiii was heard every week at the
De ginning of "Batlleslar
Galacica." one oft hi* truly great
shows of the 70s. and brought
foreeluHy back to mind by the
recent arrival on mv desk of Trie
Fk-$\t>j Science Fiction TV. anew
book writ ten by John Javna. who
apparently watched entirely loo
much television as a child.
Javna has created a wonderful
buuk oul of nothing more than
myriad examples of the tackiest
forms of science fiction of the last
30years. Everything is here, from
lhe archetypal'"Captain Video" lu
19ft; s The Powers of Matthew
Star." Lists of the best and worst
sci-fi shows of all time are
provided, though the credentials
of anyone who puts "Batlleslar"
and its worthy successor
"Galactica 1980" on a Worst Ten
list must be questioned.
Indeed, how can any sane man
outta here?' More poignant words
were never spoken.
Even if you don't agree with lhe
placfngs. however, the book
makes for interesting reading,
especially in the critic's
comments Javna prints about
each show, like this aboul) "Space:
1999": "Barbara Bain's idea of
showing shock or surprise was lo
slep back two paces and look
dumb. She did that at least ■'   ,r
Itmcs an episode-Nancy h.' ■->,, SF
Writer" Did youexpet t .Wt*i
Strec}/?
Ut perhaps ihfe :   ,u U.     n
Space :   \v hat makes it a lousy
show? That's like saying "What
makes Orson Welles big?"'-
Gordon Javna,Tough TV. Which is
true. "Losvju-Spacc" was one ol
those truly idiotic shows that
only comes a long once every
decade or two— hopefully. As
Javna points out, 'They're all
waiting for I he 'Monster of the
Week' to show up. What willttbe
today? A walking, talking carrot?
A stunt man with a sheet over his
head? An aclorwith his face
painted gold?" Ronnie Jiwnes
Did?
I used to have nighimares about
the icky Dr. Smith. Dr. Smith In
mycloset with a knife. Dr. Smith
under my bed with a gun. Dr.
Smith as my dad . A thousand
identical Dr. Smiths in my
backyard, moaning and
complaining tn unison; "Good
heavens! The pain, lhe pain!"
The book also covers the "good"
shows quite thoroughly. "Star
Trek." 'The Prisoner" and
'1 srrest you In the nams ol the Clown Empire, and am forced to
Impound your uniform, which Is very attractive, by the way."
'What will it be today? A walking, talking carrot':
A stunt man with a sheet over his head?'
ostracize a program that
presented us with such awesome
television moments as those
Javna himself recaps, as on the
second episode of "Galactica
1980." when "Li. Dillon [Barry-
Van Dyke) inadvertantly robs a
bank- He has lo turn invisible lo
avoid getting thrown into J all," or
perhaps this brilliant snippet of
insightful dialogue from
"Battlestar": "STARBUCK. 'Will
you cut the felgerrarb and gel me
Twilight Zone" are all here, as
expected, but some undeniably
weird choices show up tn Javna's
best, such as "V-The Miniseries."
which was so stupid it made "Lost
In Space" seem normal. Sample
dialogue: DONOVAN (suddenly
understand big]:"- Food'." or
DONOVAN (looking at the
preserved humans In the deepfreeze room): Why are they being
taken...stored like this? Why not
just killed?' This Is much the
same question that could be asked
about a typical audience at an
REO Speedwagon show.
The dialogue excerpts from
most shows are a nice touch. It's
int eresllng to read meaningless
pseudo-space-babble from shows
like "Captain Video" which must
have made sense then, but now
sound like the ravings of your
local jabbering pill freak:
"EVERETT (speaking Into
headphones): 'Chauncey Everett
here, aboard the Polar Star,
calling Captain Video, aboard the
Galaxy.... Microwave channel
Delta one-twn-lhree. Gamma
three-six-nine. Do you readme.
Captain?' CAPTAIN VIDEO:
"Jumpin' Satumian
salamanders! Now what?"'Now
they attach ihe leech- -.in vour
jiiivhetiiL you idiot!  -■ - aKiiif.
like this undoubted!     ive tot*..
peeple huge paychecks back in
1950.
Some of lhe dialogue is
brilliantly moronic, as witness
these outtakesfrom The Man
From Atlantis": "MARK
(revealing his reason for hanging
around with human beings): I
have not learned enough.'" Or I h is
rebuke: "SHUBERT: 'A water-
breathing
man! What a waste!" Yeah, bel you
wouldn't say that if you could
sleep in your swinirning pool
The book includes pertinent
facts on items like special effects
and costumes, like "Captain Video
had the lowest special effects
budget of any major TV show tn
history- only $25 a week." By way
if comparison. It should be noted
Please see DANGER. pa«e 8
Oubterranean   Letters
Dear Editor,
I was amused by a record review
primed in your Subterranean Jungle
entertainment section this last Friday.
Feb. 5. Whether the article was mcani u>
be amusing is one of ihe points of this
letter.
Donnell Alexander wnics a glowing
appreciation of a "new" record entitled
The Velvet Underground and Nico. The
problem is thai ihis LP is far from new.
Although I don't have the exact release
dale, I believe it was released around
1969. which makes il pre-date most of the
performers thai Alexander cites as its
influences. The album was very well
received, and songs like "Waiting For my
Man" and "Heroin" were big on
underground radio. Indeed, many of the
early punk groups named ihe Velvet
Underground as an influence in their new
form of rock n roll.
While 1 agree with lhe review that the
album is excellent, il demonstrates a lack
of background knowledge in lhe reviewer.
!f this is indeed meant to be a put-on.
the wnier then needs lo practice letting lhe
audience in on the joke. Saiire, or even an
inside joke, depends on the reader
accepting il as such, and taking as it was
intended.
As for Andy Warhol's supposedly
producing the LP. yes he gets a credit
and yes he did the artwork, but it has
always been a joke among ihose who
listened to iL He probably did what he
seemed to do best, hang around people
Willi talent, rather ihan arranging music or
running a mixing board. He was however,
(Tom all accounts, very much alive in
1969
I would suggest Doimelil Alexander
check out any of Lou Reed's or John
Cain's subsequent records, and leam more
aboul die subject before declaring lhat a
some4 9-year-old-album is "the mosi
traiibla7ing...of the lasi 15 years and
makes going into the 90s a much more
palatable situation."
lack Han, Jr.
Bonng Old Fart Post-Bachelor's
P.S. Verve Records (pan of MGM
Records) is obscure because il no longer
exists
Dear Ediior,
Regarding Donnell Alexander's review
of The Velvet Underground and Nico, by
the Velvei Underground: There will be no
problems from lhe estate of Andy Warhol.
Warhol helped form and manage the
Velvets in the laie 60s. The record is a re-
release from ihis period. Also re-releascd
have been iheir albums. The Velvet
Underground and White Light. While
Heat
The Velvets no longer exist as a band.
Lou Reed went on to help develop punk
rock and John Cale is sail making avant-
garde music today. The Velvets have been
cited by many current bands as a major
influence, such as R.E.M.. while the
Velvets are a thing of the past, their
traditions carry on in the form of Sonic
Youth. Listen to Sonic Youth and
discover that the 80s are not the "vasi
musical wasteland" you complain of.
Now you know.
Alan Richardson
Donnell Alexander replies:
"The Velvet Underground and Nico
album review that the tetters concern
was, as the Boring Old Fart so accurately
called it, "a put-on". The amount of
tongue lodged against my cheek at the
Please see LETTERS, page 8