April 28, 1986 Pg 2-3 |
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.'
Famous last words spoken here
This being the last week of publication
for Tht Daily Collegian." is also my last
chance to make an indelible impression as
a writer of succint, wry commentary upon
the few of you who have read my stuff,
and future employers-who will be scanning
my clips in, no doubt, amused bewilder-
Here, as follows, is my "Address to the
Class of '86." being as 1 am not, alas,
valedictorian; as a matter of fact, since the
institution of a stupid university policy
which states that you CANNOT — repeat,
CANNOT — have your name on the
graduation program if you are, for
example, 6 units shy of completing all
your graduation requirements, I wont
even be on the !#@? program.
But, as I was informed by the
HELPFUL person in the "Evaluation*
department. I CAN walk in the ceremony.
Oh boy. That sure makes me feel a HELL
ofa lot better.
To continue: "So Long, Class of "86"
Congratulations for making tt (through
Vintage Days, that is). Since you WILL be
graduating ina few short weeks (or so you
told your told your parents), let us
:= about our college careers.
You have learned several valuable skills
for coping in the "real" world (as opposed
to what, the "pseudo" world?) whether
you know it or not.
- For example, how to successfully rewrite
a term paper for an entirely different
course, with no one the wiser for it. (This
will certainly help you cut down the
overtime in your new job.)
-How to drink all night, pass out for
approximately one hour, and still make it
to class the next day. (Think of the
Here's your opportunity to apply for all
those credit cards you're probably getting
applications for about now, and upholding
the great American work ethic of going so
far into debt that you successfully lock
yourself into the work force for the next
3,000 years.
You spend your whole life in school and
then when you get out, you're told that
none of it counts. You're rewarded for
years for being "ideoligjcal," and when
you finally become a shining product of
You spend your whole life in school and then when you
get out, you're told that none of it counts.
impression you will make on your new
boss: "For Chrissakes, you must be a
!#@?! Spartan! Don't you ever sleep?"
-Finely honing the art of existing on an
income far below the recognized poverty
level. (Aspects of this category include:
returning returnable bottles for gas money;
checking coin-return slots in pay telephones for spare change; something I call
"creative financing," which entails writing
a check for cash to deposit in the account
to cover the check you wrote yesterday
which you didn't have funds for. resorting
to drinking Olympia beer and telling
yourself that you can't really tell the
difference anyway.)
And, hopefully, you have a
perspective — in the pure sense of the
Maybe you'll remember that no matter
how bad things are, they could always get
worse (and I'm not kidding).
Maybe you'll even get the opportunity,
someday, to put all those ideals of yours to
the test.
Now I'm supposed to leave you with a
memorable quote, preferably by somebody
illustrious; words to live by and all that. I
debated choosing some nihilistic, hardcore
lyrics, like "Anarchy in the U.K.,"but that
seemed a little too postured. Or something
folksy, down-to-earth, like Will Rogers
before Ronnie (Reagan) got a handle on
his style and it became a little pretentious,
little too "aw, shucks." a little too naively
the system youVe spent blood, sweat and *"£, , dedded thjlt wha, we rca„y need
tears on (at least in the journalism now, besides a good controlled-subsunce
department), you're-told that it doesnt binge, is a little poetry. Poetry for a brutal
matter.-(R<member Suicidal Tendencies age
and their song, "Institutionalized"? "I
went to YOUR churches, and YOUR
schools, and now YOU say I'M crazy?!")
Well, maybe that's life. And maybe
your degree won't amount to a six-pack
onOly.
But maybe you've learned something
about yourself and other people. Maybe
you have some good memories. And you
porbably know where to find the microfilm
department in the Madden Library (at
least until they move it again).
"IVe been set free
and IVe been bound
To the memories
of yesterday's ground
IVe been set free and
IVe been bound and
I'm Set Free
I'm Set Free
I'm Set Free to find a
new illusion...
—Lou Reed/The Velvet Underground
Meanwhile, from behind stage..
By Daly Cottogian Staff
The noise is loud. The lights are on. The
lawn Ii Uttered with a wild audience ready
fora show. (Pick a show, any show.) But
behind the stage, the other crowd is gearing
up for...oh yeah, a show.
A show. That's the ticket.
A lot of the performers have consumed
drinkage, and are watching the crowd.
Ironic, no? A video screen hangs over the
stage, along with two rows of blasters,
primed and ready for...the Air Guitar
■: Our backstage report comes to you
thanks tothegallant efforts of the"Gonzo
Guys."
First up, we have the AGR waitresses,
no, that's the Party Personnel, doin" a
I ood ol' boy number by Hank Williams.
Boy, I'm a rowdy friend if them waitresses
are gonna be there. Ye haw!
Oh, yeah. Them waitresses. But I'm
What's this? A bare-bellied belter of
brazen boisterousness. Katrina, can we be
a wave.too? He! He!
But she looks too much like Madonna.
Maybe we should call her Medina?
Hey. now here's true inventiveness, the
Smirnoffs. Look at the guy in front there.
Yeah, the short one. Those shower-curtain
shorts have got to go! But the PVC-pipe
bass is good. And the spastic do-wops in
back.
Yeah, you are what you drink.
This next act gets the award for best use
of heavy-metal drums. Give Us Red sounds
almost naughty, huh?
I never saw David Lee Roth slip on
stage.
Yeah, genuine Sears-Roebuck cymbals.
Wait, those aren't garbage can l(ds, are
they? "No, it can't be. Then there are the
giant, super-duper econo size Quaker Oat«
box drums.
Roth and Hagar look like Rock'm
Sock'm rock stars.
Okay, folks, here they are. Live! Live!
All. continuous 15 acts, with the star
attraction: the airls from INXS. Wait,
8m GUITAR, pifl* •
Special
buy a 10 or 15 session
package and get
an additional 5 FREE!!
297-8826
Cedar Tree Village
Cedar at Hemdon
Call for Appointment
Against raid
Editor
We are alarmed that during this past
week and a half, Americans have not realized the crime that was committed on
April 14. Many people are caught up in
the "thrill" of victory and the seeming
magnitude of our power. Others have
convinced themselves that our attack was
in self-defense.
We find it impossible to consider flying
over an ocean and bombing unsuspecting
people an act of self defense. We understand the frustration Americans feel at
being the objects of terrorism. Yet this
frustration should be channeled into nonviolent action.
We must involve all countries in political and economic sanctions directed at
terrorist countries. It is only through
peaceful means that we can have peace.
Laurie Ziehl
Lisa Nelson
COLLEGE UNION PROGRAM COMMITTEE
PRESENTS /Sis
May 1 7ke, WcujHe, QcuvukduM,
The dance will be held in the CSUF Bucket/Cafeteria.
The band will pjay fr5m 8:30 to 11:15 p.m. Admission
is $1 for CSUF students and $2 general admission.
Refreshments will be available for purchase. Coffee
& popcorn will be free the night of the dance.
-w ^ 21 years of age J« -w"
^Tj> and older. I.D.'s TjV'ffo
will be checked.
'
Rally
impressed by the people who had come
from all over the world to go there."
Bumanglag was present for Nicaragua's
first anniversary of the day that former
leader A nastasio Somoza was overthrown.
"There was a great sense of solidarity
for the people of Nicaragua," said
Bumanglag, "They had the fortitude to
take control of their own country and
decide their own fate."
"Our primary reason for being out there
is to protest the administration's request
for contra aid. as well as the administration's missed opportunity in the
nuclear test ban with Ihe Soviets."
Delano residents Steve Zrucky and
Francisco Garcia traveled to Nicaragua
last year as part of the International
March for Peace, a rally started in Norway
that attracted representatives from 25
Both expressed positive views toward
the people of Nicaragua and wished the
United Slates would get involved in the
Conta Dora process, which would offer a
diplomatic solution to the fighting in
Central America instead of a militaristic
"The administration's stand, if it wanted
10 have good relations in Nicaragua, would
be to do what Denmark is doing." said
"Denmark is building 19 schools in the
country. You ask people in Nicaragua
what.they think of Denmark and they'll
tell you they hold them in high esteem.
But ask them how they feel about
Americans and they'll tell you they have
fear of America.*" ,
because it works against everybody down
there. I believe in the Coma Dora process."
LEAPS AND BOUNDS
Mark McGraw urges his frog on during the Vintage Days Frog Leap competition.
MoanfTbt Daily Ctiagm N t*
A literacy campaign taken on by the
Sandinista government has been getting
widespread attention, and UNESCO, the
United Nations Eductional. Scientific and
Cultural Organization, cited Nicaragua
for its outstanding improvement in literacy. UNESCO's statistics showed that
ihe literacy rate in Nicaragua rose from 51
percent to S7 percr.tt in the Sandinista
government's firs; ive years of existence.
The problem with Nicaragu's literacy
leap, however. sayS Zrucky, "is that
become the primary targets
fori!
e-high infant mortality n
Managing Editor Copy Editor Photo Editor
Salary Salary Salary
Approx. $340/mo. Approx. $290/mo. Approx. $290/mo.
Graphic* Editor Sports Editor Advertising Manage
Salary Salary Salary
Approx. $290/mo. Approx. $290/md. Approx. $350/mo.
POSITIONS WITH
THE DAILY COLLEGIAN
Nicaragua has also dropped due to a
rehydration program instituted by the
"Right now, Nicaragua's infant mortality rate is the lowest in Latin America.
The largest cause of death for Nicaraguan
infants was dehydration," he said
"Nicaragua's program has been very
successful and has made great strides over
the past few years.
"There's one thing people in Central
America understand, if the United States
would quit attacking them, there'd be
more- money for the people." -' . ••'•-'
Zrucky added!"Wlc*p1e<lc9't>ctitm-Tn
El Salvador say 'Made in the U.S.A.,' if
the U.S. would stop sponsoring bombing
attacks and gave food and medicine, they'd
ippreciated.*"
Tbe
icarag
InaineM Manager Reporters
Salary Salary
Approx. $350/mo.' Approx. $160/mo.
Staff Artist News Production
Salary Salary
Approx. $110/mo. Approx. $190/mo.
Asst. Business Advertising
Manager Representatives
Salary Salary
Approx. $110/mo. Approx. $225/mo.
Delivery
Salary
Approx. $60/mo
Plus mileage
Photographers
Salary
Approx. $160/mo.
Typesetters
Salary
Approx. $160/mo.
Outside
Production
Salary
Approx. $110/n.o.
Circulation
Salary
Approx. $90/mo.
APPUCATIONS ARE AVAILABLE IN THE DAILY COLLEGIAN OFFICE
LOCATED IN THE KEATS CAMPUS BUILDING. APPLICATIONS
MUST BE SUBMITTED NO LATER THAN MAY 9,1966
THE DAILY COLLEGIAN
An equal opportunity employer
» had v
border ski
hi Honduras w
aside as a hoax by Zrucky, who said, "The
facts that came out later showed that the
lionduran government didn't-evejt know
about th»a*UKk:for-a.'MupvMrfttayaVV.
■ "But it's funny how thaididn'i-come'oui
in the papers unless it was in the back
section or something."
\ "1 am convinced that if people get the
right informaiion. they will come out in
support for what we are protesting for
"Reagan has the media wrapped up. It's
funny though, the Soviets are sending
medical supplies to the government, while
the government.
"Many of the people in Nicaragua just
say, 'if this is communism, it isn't that
bad.' Communism doesnt have the charged
negative emphasis in Central America
that il docs in the U.S."
EARN EXTRA MONEY
7hisY\€ek
AND EVERY WEEK
We are looking for once-a-week delivery people
in the Fresno-Clovis area for our This Week
publication. Applicants must be 18 years or older
and be available for approximately 4 hours on
Wednesday afternoons. . >
No door-to-door solicitations or collection is
required. Must provide own transportation and
be able to provide proof of insurance coverage.
STUDENTS-HOUSE-SPOUSES-RETIREES
Here is the perfect way to earn extra money.
A little time - a little exercise,
and you can earn up to
25
OO
FM out and mad Its* ■
! Address-
C"rty_
Mail tt
_ZIP_
_Phone_
The Fresno Bee
This Week Delivery 3L\
1626 "E" Street »
Fresno, CA 93786 V^
The Fresno Bee
i'ii mi
Object Description
| Title | 1986_04 The Daily Collegian April 1986 |
| Alternative Title | Daily Collegian (California State University, Fresno) |
| Publisher | Associated Students of Fresno State, Fresno, Calif. |
| Publication Date | 1986 |
| Description | Daily (except weedends) during the school year. Microfilm. Palo Alto, Calif.: BMI Library Microfilms, 1986- microfilm reels; 35 mm. Vol.1, no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- |
| Subject | California State University, Fresno -- Periodicals. |
| Contributors | Associated Students of Fresno State. |
| Coverage | Vol.1 no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- to present |
| Format | Microfilm reels, 35 mm. |
| Technical Information | Scanned at 600 dpi; TIFF; Microfilm ScanPro 2000 "E-image data" |
| Language | eng |
Description
| Title | April 28, 1986 Pg 2-3 |
| Alternative Title | Daily Collegian (California State University, Fresno) |
| Publisher | Associated Students of Fresno State, Fresno, Calif. |
| Publication Date | 1986 |
| Description | Daily (except weedends) during the school year. Microfilm. Palo Alto, Calif.: BMI Library Microfilms, 1986- microfilm reels; 35 mm. Vol.1, no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- |
| Subject | California State University, Fresno -- Periodicals. |
| Contributors | Associated Students of Fresno State. |
| Coverage | Vol.1 no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- to present |
| Format | Microfilm reels, 35 mm. |
| Technical Information | Scanned at 600 dpi; TIFF; Microfilm ScanPro 2000 "E-image data" |
| Language | eng |
| Full-Text-Search |
.'
Famous last words spoken here
This being the last week of publication
for Tht Daily Collegian." is also my last
chance to make an indelible impression as
a writer of succint, wry commentary upon
the few of you who have read my stuff,
and future employers-who will be scanning
my clips in, no doubt, amused bewilder-
Here, as follows, is my "Address to the
Class of '86." being as 1 am not, alas,
valedictorian; as a matter of fact, since the
institution of a stupid university policy
which states that you CANNOT — repeat,
CANNOT — have your name on the
graduation program if you are, for
example, 6 units shy of completing all
your graduation requirements, I wont
even be on the !#@? program.
But, as I was informed by the
HELPFUL person in the "Evaluation*
department. I CAN walk in the ceremony.
Oh boy. That sure makes me feel a HELL
ofa lot better.
To continue: "So Long, Class of "86"
Congratulations for making tt (through
Vintage Days, that is). Since you WILL be
graduating ina few short weeks (or so you
told your told your parents), let us
:= about our college careers.
You have learned several valuable skills
for coping in the "real" world (as opposed
to what, the "pseudo" world?) whether
you know it or not.
- For example, how to successfully rewrite
a term paper for an entirely different
course, with no one the wiser for it. (This
will certainly help you cut down the
overtime in your new job.)
-How to drink all night, pass out for
approximately one hour, and still make it
to class the next day. (Think of the
Here's your opportunity to apply for all
those credit cards you're probably getting
applications for about now, and upholding
the great American work ethic of going so
far into debt that you successfully lock
yourself into the work force for the next
3,000 years.
You spend your whole life in school and
then when you get out, you're told that
none of it counts. You're rewarded for
years for being "ideoligjcal," and when
you finally become a shining product of
You spend your whole life in school and then when you
get out, you're told that none of it counts.
impression you will make on your new
boss: "For Chrissakes, you must be a
!#@?! Spartan! Don't you ever sleep?"
-Finely honing the art of existing on an
income far below the recognized poverty
level. (Aspects of this category include:
returning returnable bottles for gas money;
checking coin-return slots in pay telephones for spare change; something I call
"creative financing," which entails writing
a check for cash to deposit in the account
to cover the check you wrote yesterday
which you didn't have funds for. resorting
to drinking Olympia beer and telling
yourself that you can't really tell the
difference anyway.)
And, hopefully, you have a
perspective — in the pure sense of the
Maybe you'll remember that no matter
how bad things are, they could always get
worse (and I'm not kidding).
Maybe you'll even get the opportunity,
someday, to put all those ideals of yours to
the test.
Now I'm supposed to leave you with a
memorable quote, preferably by somebody
illustrious; words to live by and all that. I
debated choosing some nihilistic, hardcore
lyrics, like "Anarchy in the U.K.,"but that
seemed a little too postured. Or something
folksy, down-to-earth, like Will Rogers
before Ronnie (Reagan) got a handle on
his style and it became a little pretentious,
little too "aw, shucks." a little too naively
the system youVe spent blood, sweat and *"£, , dedded thjlt wha, we rca„y need
tears on (at least in the journalism now, besides a good controlled-subsunce
department), you're-told that it doesnt binge, is a little poetry. Poetry for a brutal
matter.-(R |
