1975_04 The Daily Collegian April 1975

              pestilence and smoke?
For  a  la
» snd blank College Union Cateteria.
It'a also Bommeely referred to aa The Pit. The Crater, The Hell
Choose Erwaievsr aame yoa went   If s saf-
ccnkl de II Jaattce.   Tha mysterious
I afteactteg •sower tetaddlss as Immsnsety ao aw shall
There are at least two other places to "sat* oa tMs earn pan aa
weU ae aumeroue • machines' which stand aa guarde outside
baaUdtef; ajoora aad seem to aay, "pull me pull me and aae what
you get." Bo. what la tt about the Union that holds so many people
In rspterw?
It eaat be the atmosphere. there Isn't any It can*! be ths
food . they don't serve aay - food, that is Sursly It's sot the
bowling aUeys because moat of our atadents appear too weak
from maawntrltlon to ptck up a 14 poundar.
Waal we're trying to explore hare tan't starvation because the
satire world now reeks from starvation, but rather why the
"bread" we channel Into the Union (In the form of ituJcta fees)
doesn't amsrga ta tha and looking Ilka aay kind of palatable, nutritional, sdxble substance, to oar recollection
Upon ewsballbag tats MtasUon wa sac an assortment of diverse
and vnrted craaterss (foreign aad domestic) who inhabit the
Union dally As tf by ragennration they appear to conataually
•wpleeaaB themselves. Some have even taken roots and ara ftour-
i rbemtcsl orgawtauitc processes
derelicts, detlnojnenu Morbid fuohtoe and
aloag with post flower-era hipsters tor daily
rsp •nwjswons. Ths old tepaBwBbtos sre always there - religious sealots (sneakily advocating thetr causes), displaced persons seflBring withdrawal peine or shock teachers, ptawedo-intellectuals, neo-arttsts. environmental poets, ptala old lams, tha
aggies with dewreaaad skulls from still carrying 10-gallons on
tatetr hesda and tte Jocks
The tacks can't be forgotten for they have Mated a path between
.heir Athtotlc Haven (near Cedar and Baratow A vermes) aad the
csntraUy located Union Patio. There they stt aad position them
selves tn Bests st just the tight angle to enable them lo Saw
ly gaxe ag) a passing female's drses
Tha  apwasaranrs  aad clnthtag dlsplsyed  hers  show  if
sny)   vatisty     . ancient,   torn, faded Levi's, wrinkled, message
T-sbtrts, dingy, lice Infested hair, shedding beards, and
They only hibernate ta the Un
altowtag  them   to  apply thetr Co
Tbewe are tba bloadea, the  hnN-*jot-off-the-elopes-at
Ctana-Peek people who wear lots of pasteta and are taanwd ao mat-
ad mstteftte final axams.  They wear aajlhlBg
I-mads, tie-dyed, denim, or imported.
ThEntm stw tteawaWrwsM-ra.^ Patio soak
Ing ap Mr. Sol's Rays, lea nag taa Back Pstio (there's s big dtf-
fareece) ta tha meek snd fetid-ma rase led Clark Kaata. Lots
Lanes aad Jimmy Olsons te absorb ths residual shade The Baa
Worshippers often try te lagage ta tale chetter hat their Pepper
mtat-Wbtta smttea srs seawajh to make the slcbest stomack sicker
Succees ts measured by srm sad tag fraeterea becauee thla allows
them to wear easts or crutches to school, sad baby, that's the
hlghssl yea cas go on thla lsdder
Wttatn two UMon aa outrageous liquid pestilence I
•coffee " Oily, slimy and hyper-lubricated fries, '
half-frozen  fish     can also   be bought If orie arrives before the
we would think that taa preparers of the afore men-
• ara paid to know a little about dietetics sad aatii-
tf they do. tt certatete doesn't show.  There are dripwy,
piss     Cement-const stem   cookies,  do-nuts sad
powrawrcd-wrkainga     Aad thoee people who do tba cobki-Eg
Man tMs is the laat place In tba world they Waal to be.
sleepy, tired, sweaty snd In quick saad of s Mood
or s 10-week vacaUon at a local health spa.
wa aster ths main (or side) doors, (complete wilt,  greasy
prints, dog and cat saltvs. and ths tow prints of thoee too
to wait for ths electric eye), ■emethtag shsssna begins to
a. Saaeeae of Vomit suddenly pervades the upper neatrils,
severe coronary thrwmbosts. dilation of the pupils, scuta
af the eyelids, cnrUrur up of tha nose snd Increased
f grewp of Union Liters are the self-acclaimed Beeuttful      Colonel Sssaters.
Cigarette smoks and other sm*taytmmstous odors ofthe environment hang over the area like an evil omen. The plague of plague a
Tte smell is Incredible vile. For thoee Inhabitants who •live"
there, tba aroma Becomes Baa perfume It stays Is thetr hair
and clothes and they get used to It.   It stays   .
FUMIGATION IS OCT' our proposed solutions to this tasttta-
tionnltaed death-trap ts to declare tha CoUege Union Cafeteria
a aafloaal disaster area aad have It leveled or else franchise tt out
to McDonalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken or Plxxa Hut.
The  logic behind  the first solution would allow ua to gat the
naceeaary federal revenue (baaed on similar caeca where the Gov-
ernmem hss aided flood victims In Mississippi  and earthquake
ia Alaska aad the Uke) tn order to rebuild tMs structure
to more livable spectlicMlnns.
The second solution would allow aa to perhaps get quick,
prompt service with more edible snd nourishing food. Ws might
even  gat   to  meet  Ronald  McDonald  or  good old finger llckln
ON CAMPUS
TOOAY
Faealty-Staff Bible Study wiU
reset  st  noon in the Collegiate
Room.
Formsr U.S. Attorney General
Ramsay Clsrk will speak on
•Piisons snd Prison Reform* ,t
noon la the Men's Gym.
A pre-retirement meeting
sauBCBi-J by the Par ana ael office aad titled -Social Security*
wtU be held at 2 p.m. ta CTJ 104.
Fresno painter Barbara Holland wtll exhibit her •rrrtBttiigg
tn ths Art Dept Gallery Tbraagl
May 2.
Jo Dull will give her
recital   In  Music  100 at
4pm
WIDNfSOAY
Blue Kay will hold an auction
tn the Free Speech Area from
11 a.m. to 1 p.m.
The CSUF Women's Club will .
hold s picnic to O'Neill Park at
noon. It wtll bs held ta CU 111-
114 if tt rains
Programs tn English will tea-
hire readings frees tba eeetrtbu-
tors to Backwash st 1:10 p.m. la
IA 101.
Outdoor Adventure wetfatohup
on backpacking at 7 p.m. la
CU 111-314
Peak dancing at 7:20 p.m. la
m iso.
Backwash
(Cunllseed from Page 1)
eqasl   to faction  aad poetry."
Glrahtea  aatd   In the peat they
seemed to nee tt ss a 'aerostat, a
filler* be aald.
Blue Key service group
provides speech machine
Mas was the limited number o'
drawings awd pbtaagrapfes aaed.
Gtrsktes sstd. "Ws were limited
by cent aa to bow muck we could
use.* He admitted they would hsve
BkW te ewe store If more money
■ that the
r weren't
tery exciting. Ctrnktes tefaaawd
the lay-out saying, I'm not ao
imerwsted ta how pretty ths word
ts  past  so long aa ti
A speech compressing machine
that will allow kawtecapeajd studsnts to shorten or lengthen the
listening Ume on tape recorded
lectures and other leandng materials hss been Installed tn the
library at CSUF daw to the ef
torta of Blue Kay. the staownt
service organisation on campua
Blue Key conducted a variety
of activities over a two-year
period to rslse the $1,000 needed
the Vstispsech Ma
abates that is bow located Is the
special learning equipment room
tha   library   tor
makee It poeetbte for blind stu-
dswta aad those with other severe
handicaps to listen to their claTM
lectures oa tape sad. tf desired,
to re-record them In about one-
third of the normal playback time
The specially deaigned machine
can change ths spaed of the speech
without loss of intelligibility. For
example, a one-hour tape caa ha
eompeeosid into a listening time
il   toSj  24
The unit also caa be uaed to
slow down recorded speech, permitting garbled or excessively
test speech to be stwdled and analyzed la detail An Identical machine la aaad is tha university's
Cc*mmunicative Disorders Ds-
pertrne-tt tor the study of speech
characteristics
two trustees
Two new members hsve bean
apsngated to tha CSUC Board of
I reawswi   4j   I Ian    Kdmund Q
Brown
Ths new bonrd member a are
Mary Jean Pew, a professor, and
Willie J Stennls. s Los Angeles
businessman.
Pew, 44, is professor of government and chairman of the his
tory aad governs*aM department
at Immaculate Heart College tn
Loa Angeles