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Food for thought THE DAILY COLLEGIAN Thur DATING GAME USA By Martyn Green C. I. Columnist As a foreign student at Fresno State, I naturally expected to when I came to America. Obviously, ln the adjustment to any new culture these differences would be most acutely felt In the area of the most Intimate relationships - between a boy and a girl. However, as an EngUshman, even from the capital city, I hardly anUclpated the tremendous differences In attitudes, Ideals and assumptions that apparenUy exist In provincial Fresno city — 'The AU-Amerlcan Town'. This jolt was at least partly due to the misleading descriptions I had been given before I arrived of America being very 'liberal' - with CaUfornla the most liberal of all the states. Dread of involvement turaily approved avenues of ex- forelgner from the Middle East or Europe has learned that It ls normal to UghUy fUrt with a girl before he asks her out, he ls likely to find his behaviour negatively sanctioned - as there exist here few approved avenues of expression for that kind of behaviour. Consequently she ends up annoyed and he, frustrated. Not only does this burden descend on his shoulders cues that boys and girls exchange ln a potentially 'loaded' situation may not always be what he ls used to. The signs a European uses to tell a member of the opposite sex they Uke them are not always necessarily the same as an American expects and gives. This can occasionally Furthermore, many foreigners have been shocked to realize that ln America, especially in a non - loaded relationship, 'friendship' tends to be 'easy come, easy go' - with little or no concomitant responsibilities. Additionally, even ln a loaded relationship, at least one person has noticed Ihe plaint. '1 don't want to get Involved', cropping up among Americans. appear to be lndl- le growing a within Amei Different premises Even for a European student, It would appear that his premises concerning dating do not hold true ln this culture. In England and other countries, when a guy asks a girl for a date (which he can do much ceptance that she ls at least somewhat 'romantically' Interested ln him. Not so here — according to a girlfriend of mine. A girl goes out with a guy to find out If she Is romantically , interested ln him. Obviously if his actions are predicated on the former premise he could well strike problems — like ls It all right to kiss her goodnight, or ls even that too fast If she Is not certain If she ls Interested In him? I get the Impression that the Victorian idea of 'We haven't been Introduced!' lingers a while before a guy can even broach the Idea of a date. He is not supposed to give an Inkling e that' i Bin '1 for a sta to her, request for a date. Slow? I had never guessed that England was Uberal, but In London I've known them considerably less than one day - and no English girl would be shocked at such 'forwardness' either. It is the Americans who are supposed t that 1. a EngUsh ge . (IF Fr< n comparison with Ai land the 'approach' Is I game - guys can 'come on' more obviously than any would ever dare ln Purltan-llke Fresno. This subtle approach does not seem to Indicate the 'liberal' attitudes that California Is supposed to be famous lor. Thus the social contract Is entirely different — reflected also ln the fact that in other countries boys usually date only one girl at a time - whereas here multiple Status hang-up This practice seems to evolve from the hang - up that bugs Americans more than anyone else - Status! When 1 came to realize the fantastic significance this has on American daUng habits I was shocked and amazed. As I've noted before ln this remarkably lrdluencial here. One girl I know of made out with a guy at a party mefely because both here sister and her roommate were with guys - whilst she was alone. It would seem prove one's sexuality. This Idea appears to affect the girls even more than the boys. "A girl won't go out with a boy If her group dlssaproves,* one girl told me. Oriental boys apparently figure lower on the Ust of 'ell- glbles' than white Americans — so hang It up fellows.... Further, from the girls side, a Chinese- American confessed to me that she felt at a disadvantage ln the dating game because of her race. Because she was Chinese she felt that both white Americans and Chinese boys were less likely to ask her out. Blacks too, fare no better. PersonaUy, I don't harbour a bias AGAINST non-whtte Americans — ln fact I am decidedly pro-Oriental as of nEng- Pyramid Climbers' 1 gather that not only quality it quantity count In the assessed of the social status a girl drl n - she 1 press often,' I was once told. Thus the other side of the status hang-up — the quantity of guys a girl can string along. This ln fact should give some foreigners a chance too - after all they are 'different' and thus novel. Does It help? "I tried for seven months before 1 got a girlfriend," an- Englishman at the University of Georgia told Guatemala. Do guys (and girls) have 'status ratings' - Uke credit ratings? Can white Americans check out more 'assets' because their 'status rating' ls higher than Orientals - or Blacks, or Browns — or even foreign students? No doubt American boys also consider carefully who they FOREIGN pw^ CAR PARTS ^*^*^ LUCAS, BOSCH & BAP ELECTRIC Complete line of original equipment replacement parts. SU, SOLEX, WEBER & v ZENITH cai-b- IMPO 1 Venture RT PARTS C atM 2: ENTER J3-8861 what their roommates or their 'group' might think. I'd hate to think that I would ever date a girl because 1 needed the status she might bring me. Status ls for the socially Insecure - which says a lot for the Amerl- Games people play Thus from my experience and from several of my friends I get the feeling that to many girls (though perhaps not all) dating Is Just a game. And Uke a game It has certain set rules. The prime objective of the game seems to be to keep the guys guessing on a schedule of partial reinforcement. (Rewarding some guys -some of the time, but never aU, always). Several of my friends have noted that some girls seem to date a guy a couple of times only to become 'busy' when next they call for a date. It ls not surprising then that guys balk at asking a girl out. "You go over to Homan hall,* a girlfriend declared, "half the guys are too shy to ask a girl for a date!* t know of an out of state student who has been here six months and never been out with a girl. "Most guys are afraid of being 'put down' ', another girl explained to me last week. And no wonder - when some girls put them down be- eyes aren't blue, be- ■■; '• i shade too dark! Compatibility correlations vey recently t a pertlcularly trait ln 'necking' habits was genetically controlled. 1 unembarrasslngly asked several guys and girls which side they turned their head when kissing their mate. I' discovered (on a small sample) a perceptible correlaUon between the preferred side and which thumb are put together (as If ln prayer) -^a known genetically controlled variable. Apparently more people turn their head to the right and more people have their right thumb on top. Unfortunately I observed a slight negative correlation between the number of girls who turn their head to their right and the number of boys who did so - the girls preferring the right less often. Obviously this can lead to hang-ups — but might I suggest (only half humourously) that this ls a more logical basis for establishing compatibility than say horoscopes — or Indeed Through a gloss darkly • Thureday, April 2, {970 THE DAILY COLLEGIAN 5 America- society of roles, not goals ■Today America ls a society of -Marshall McLuhan The above words of McLuhan present one of the most significant opinions expressed about America today. For a better understanding of this Idea I would like to apply It to a smaller and more familiar social entity, I.e. Fresno State College. Walking around the campus we usually find ourselves In the position of stereotyping the people around us. The "aggie,"the"hippie," the "square* are Just a few glasses has assumed the role ln order to defend himself against the society that does not care to know hire as an Individual. The same Is true for the "aggie" ln the semi-tradlUonal Western if y • of i the most people are assuming a role. Today people dress according to their roles and choose the length of their hair ln a way that would be suitable to what they each of these "groups" about I opinions on a certain poUtlcal, social or artistic subject, hewlU give you the type of opinion that has been formed by his group. To reinforce his sense of belonging he has no choice but to repeat those opinions. The "hippie* digs the Jefferson Airplane, and would say "groovy" If you offer him a "Jolnl^the writer should apologize for using an already used Jargon, but to sho nauseating effect of this over- usage, there Is no other way.) The "aggie* ls predictable as well. He puts an American flag on the windshield ofhlsMaverlck and carries on an imposed secret love affair with Splro Agnew. Here I may be accused of describing only two extreme roles but the fact ls that the people who choose the role of being 'middle of the road' usually are absorbed by one of these two masses of role players. The posters, the buttons, and the bumper suckers are the props for this social show. Beyond these totally meaningless facades, one usually finds empty men who have lost themselves as they sacrificed their Individuality for a role that was supposed to give them lhat individuality! the How did this come about? The reason for this phenomenon ls as strange and might seem as unlikely as the phenomenon Itself. What forced people to assume roles for themselves and others ls the mass media. InMcLuhan's opinion Ihe printing and the elec tronic media have e and vast secondary c for man. It differs from Um used to be an Integral part of. The mass media has occupied most of an American's Uvlng environment. Radio ln tho car. billboards along the highways, TV ln tho Uvlng room and printed materials all over the place occupy oursenses. The very first effect that they Impose on their subjects Is that they stereotype After seeing the flghUng man on the TV for the thousandth Ume, ever one sees the figure, he automatically stereotypes. The same ls true with the long-haired revolutionary, the black militant and the YAF member. They remain Individuals mere figures who play a role during the dally 6 o'clock ending TV series. Like It or nor; we are TV children. We heard radio before we were able to talk, and our been formed by the mass media. We were born ln a world'of media-made stereotypes and we have not had a chance to explore ourselves and one another. Today we are so deeply committed to playing our roles that oftentimes we lose the sight of what we are going to accomplish. If the young coUege 'revolutionary* speaks of ending the war and racial- discrimination, It Is because be finds It fundamental lor making his role believable. To accomplish peace and equaUtv when- *nd they go beyond long hair aj FSC-Plugged In. Photo by Don LeBaron. International diner tickets Tickets for the InternaUonal Dinner to be held on April 15 must be purchased ln advance. Ticket outlets are the Foreign Studen' Office ln the new Administration Building, CoUege Union, Fresno Convention Center and Caffe Midi. CAMPUS INTERNATIONAL Dally Coll.glsn, publlsl your diamond is a gift of love. .forever Left, from top to bottom, 18-diamond let, $495 ... Solitaire in graceful modem setting, $250... Multi-diamond Marquise set, $595 ... sWia- sntsnd aasKer with Florentine. 1450 ... bottom llamond ring, S575 ... bottom right t enhanced bv IS diamonds, act matched ring tots com |IW5» 1201 Foltoa Moll OPN FRIDAY NITES TIL 9 PM Tatmahremmmmrm Salt list BaaatUt
Object Description
Title | 1970_04 The Daily Collegian April 1970 |
Alternative Title | Daily Collegian (California State University, Fresno) |
Publisher | Associated Students of Fresno State, Fresno, Calif. |
Publication Date | 1970 |
Description | Daily (except weedends) during the school year. Microfilm. Palo Alto, Calif.: BMI Library Microfilms, 1986- microfilm reels; 35 mm. Vol.1, no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- |
Subject | California State University, Fresno -- Periodicals. |
Contributors | Associated Students of Fresno State. |
Coverage | Vol.1 no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- to present |
Format | Microfilm reels, 35 mm. |
Technical Information | Scanned at 600 dpi; TIFF; Microfilm ScanPro 2000 "E-image data" |
Language | eng |
Description
Title | April 2, 1970 Pg 4-5 |
Alternative Title | Daily Collegian (California State University, Fresno) |
Publisher | Associated Students of Fresno State, Fresno, Calif. |
Publication Date | 1970 |
Description | Daily (except weedends) during the school year. Microfilm. Palo Alto, Calif.: BMI Library Microfilms, 1986- microfilm reels; 35 mm. Vol.1, no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- |
Subject | California State University, Fresno -- Periodicals. |
Contributors | Associated Students of Fresno State. |
Coverage | Vol.1 no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- to present |
Format | Microfilm reels, 35 mm. |
Technical Information | Scanned at 600 dpi; TIFF; Microfilm ScanPro 2000 "E-image data" |
Language | eng |
Full-Text-Search | Food for thought THE DAILY COLLEGIAN Thur DATING GAME USA By Martyn Green C. I. Columnist As a foreign student at Fresno State, I naturally expected to when I came to America. Obviously, ln the adjustment to any new culture these differences would be most acutely felt In the area of the most Intimate relationships - between a boy and a girl. However, as an EngUshman, even from the capital city, I hardly anUclpated the tremendous differences In attitudes, Ideals and assumptions that apparenUy exist In provincial Fresno city — 'The AU-Amerlcan Town'. This jolt was at least partly due to the misleading descriptions I had been given before I arrived of America being very 'liberal' - with CaUfornla the most liberal of all the states. Dread of involvement turaily approved avenues of ex- forelgner from the Middle East or Europe has learned that It ls normal to UghUy fUrt with a girl before he asks her out, he ls likely to find his behaviour negatively sanctioned - as there exist here few approved avenues of expression for that kind of behaviour. Consequently she ends up annoyed and he, frustrated. Not only does this burden descend on his shoulders cues that boys and girls exchange ln a potentially 'loaded' situation may not always be what he ls used to. The signs a European uses to tell a member of the opposite sex they Uke them are not always necessarily the same as an American expects and gives. This can occasionally Furthermore, many foreigners have been shocked to realize that ln America, especially in a non - loaded relationship, 'friendship' tends to be 'easy come, easy go' - with little or no concomitant responsibilities. Additionally, even ln a loaded relationship, at least one person has noticed Ihe plaint. '1 don't want to get Involved', cropping up among Americans. appear to be lndl- le growing a within Amei Different premises Even for a European student, It would appear that his premises concerning dating do not hold true ln this culture. In England and other countries, when a guy asks a girl for a date (which he can do much ceptance that she ls at least somewhat 'romantically' Interested ln him. Not so here — according to a girlfriend of mine. A girl goes out with a guy to find out If she Is romantically , interested ln him. Obviously if his actions are predicated on the former premise he could well strike problems — like ls It all right to kiss her goodnight, or ls even that too fast If she Is not certain If she ls Interested In him? I get the Impression that the Victorian idea of 'We haven't been Introduced!' lingers a while before a guy can even broach the Idea of a date. He is not supposed to give an Inkling e that' i Bin '1 for a sta to her, request for a date. Slow? I had never guessed that England was Uberal, but In London I've known them considerably less than one day - and no English girl would be shocked at such 'forwardness' either. It is the Americans who are supposed t that 1. a EngUsh ge . (IF Fr< n comparison with Ai land the 'approach' Is I game - guys can 'come on' more obviously than any would ever dare ln Purltan-llke Fresno. This subtle approach does not seem to Indicate the 'liberal' attitudes that California Is supposed to be famous lor. Thus the social contract Is entirely different — reflected also ln the fact that in other countries boys usually date only one girl at a time - whereas here multiple Status hang-up This practice seems to evolve from the hang - up that bugs Americans more than anyone else - Status! When 1 came to realize the fantastic significance this has on American daUng habits I was shocked and amazed. As I've noted before ln this remarkably lrdluencial here. One girl I know of made out with a guy at a party mefely because both here sister and her roommate were with guys - whilst she was alone. It would seem prove one's sexuality. This Idea appears to affect the girls even more than the boys. "A girl won't go out with a boy If her group dlssaproves,* one girl told me. Oriental boys apparently figure lower on the Ust of 'ell- glbles' than white Americans — so hang It up fellows.... Further, from the girls side, a Chinese- American confessed to me that she felt at a disadvantage ln the dating game because of her race. Because she was Chinese she felt that both white Americans and Chinese boys were less likely to ask her out. Blacks too, fare no better. PersonaUy, I don't harbour a bias AGAINST non-whtte Americans — ln fact I am decidedly pro-Oriental as of nEng- Pyramid Climbers' 1 gather that not only quality it quantity count In the assessed of the social status a girl drl n - she 1 press often,' I was once told. Thus the other side of the status hang-up — the quantity of guys a girl can string along. This ln fact should give some foreigners a chance too - after all they are 'different' and thus novel. Does It help? "I tried for seven months before 1 got a girlfriend," an- Englishman at the University of Georgia told Guatemala. Do guys (and girls) have 'status ratings' - Uke credit ratings? Can white Americans check out more 'assets' because their 'status rating' ls higher than Orientals - or Blacks, or Browns — or even foreign students? No doubt American boys also consider carefully who they FOREIGN pw^ CAR PARTS ^*^*^ LUCAS, BOSCH & BAP ELECTRIC Complete line of original equipment replacement parts. SU, SOLEX, WEBER & v ZENITH cai-b- IMPO 1 Venture RT PARTS C atM 2: ENTER J3-8861 what their roommates or their 'group' might think. I'd hate to think that I would ever date a girl because 1 needed the status she might bring me. Status ls for the socially Insecure - which says a lot for the Amerl- Games people play Thus from my experience and from several of my friends I get the feeling that to many girls (though perhaps not all) dating Is Just a game. And Uke a game It has certain set rules. The prime objective of the game seems to be to keep the guys guessing on a schedule of partial reinforcement. (Rewarding some guys -some of the time, but never aU, always). Several of my friends have noted that some girls seem to date a guy a couple of times only to become 'busy' when next they call for a date. It ls not surprising then that guys balk at asking a girl out. "You go over to Homan hall,* a girlfriend declared, "half the guys are too shy to ask a girl for a date!* t know of an out of state student who has been here six months and never been out with a girl. "Most guys are afraid of being 'put down' ', another girl explained to me last week. And no wonder - when some girls put them down be- eyes aren't blue, be- ■■; '• i shade too dark! Compatibility correlations vey recently t a pertlcularly trait ln 'necking' habits was genetically controlled. 1 unembarrasslngly asked several guys and girls which side they turned their head when kissing their mate. I' discovered (on a small sample) a perceptible correlaUon between the preferred side and which thumb are put together (as If ln prayer) -^a known genetically controlled variable. Apparently more people turn their head to the right and more people have their right thumb on top. Unfortunately I observed a slight negative correlation between the number of girls who turn their head to their right and the number of boys who did so - the girls preferring the right less often. Obviously this can lead to hang-ups — but might I suggest (only half humourously) that this ls a more logical basis for establishing compatibility than say horoscopes — or Indeed Through a gloss darkly • Thureday, April 2, {970 THE DAILY COLLEGIAN 5 America- society of roles, not goals ■Today America ls a society of -Marshall McLuhan The above words of McLuhan present one of the most significant opinions expressed about America today. For a better understanding of this Idea I would like to apply It to a smaller and more familiar social entity, I.e. Fresno State College. Walking around the campus we usually find ourselves In the position of stereotyping the people around us. The "aggie,"the"hippie," the "square* are Just a few glasses has assumed the role ln order to defend himself against the society that does not care to know hire as an Individual. The same Is true for the "aggie" ln the semi-tradlUonal Western if y • of i the most people are assuming a role. Today people dress according to their roles and choose the length of their hair ln a way that would be suitable to what they each of these "groups" about I opinions on a certain poUtlcal, social or artistic subject, hewlU give you the type of opinion that has been formed by his group. To reinforce his sense of belonging he has no choice but to repeat those opinions. The "hippie* digs the Jefferson Airplane, and would say "groovy" If you offer him a "Jolnl^the writer should apologize for using an already used Jargon, but to sho nauseating effect of this over- usage, there Is no other way.) The "aggie* ls predictable as well. He puts an American flag on the windshield ofhlsMaverlck and carries on an imposed secret love affair with Splro Agnew. Here I may be accused of describing only two extreme roles but the fact ls that the people who choose the role of being 'middle of the road' usually are absorbed by one of these two masses of role players. The posters, the buttons, and the bumper suckers are the props for this social show. Beyond these totally meaningless facades, one usually finds empty men who have lost themselves as they sacrificed their Individuality for a role that was supposed to give them lhat individuality! the How did this come about? The reason for this phenomenon ls as strange and might seem as unlikely as the phenomenon Itself. What forced people to assume roles for themselves and others ls the mass media. InMcLuhan's opinion Ihe printing and the elec tronic media have e and vast secondary c for man. It differs from Um used to be an Integral part of. The mass media has occupied most of an American's Uvlng environment. Radio ln tho car. billboards along the highways, TV ln tho Uvlng room and printed materials all over the place occupy oursenses. The very first effect that they Impose on their subjects Is that they stereotype After seeing the flghUng man on the TV for the thousandth Ume, ever one sees the figure, he automatically stereotypes. The same ls true with the long-haired revolutionary, the black militant and the YAF member. They remain Individuals mere figures who play a role during the dally 6 o'clock ending TV series. Like It or nor; we are TV children. We heard radio before we were able to talk, and our been formed by the mass media. We were born ln a world'of media-made stereotypes and we have not had a chance to explore ourselves and one another. Today we are so deeply committed to playing our roles that oftentimes we lose the sight of what we are going to accomplish. If the young coUege 'revolutionary* speaks of ending the war and racial- discrimination, It Is because be finds It fundamental lor making his role believable. To accomplish peace and equaUtv when- *nd they go beyond long hair aj FSC-Plugged In. Photo by Don LeBaron. International diner tickets Tickets for the InternaUonal Dinner to be held on April 15 must be purchased ln advance. Ticket outlets are the Foreign Studen' Office ln the new Administration Building, CoUege Union, Fresno Convention Center and Caffe Midi. CAMPUS INTERNATIONAL Dally Coll.glsn, publlsl your diamond is a gift of love. .forever Left, from top to bottom, 18-diamond let, $495 ... Solitaire in graceful modem setting, $250... Multi-diamond Marquise set, $595 ... sWia- sntsnd aasKer with Florentine. 1450 ... bottom llamond ring, S575 ... bottom right t enhanced bv IS diamonds, act matched ring tots com |IW5» 1201 Foltoa Moll OPN FRIDAY NITES TIL 9 PM Tatmahremmmmrm Salt list BaaatUt |