1974_04 The Daily Collegian April 1974

              DAILY COUEGIAN- Tu.t., Apr. 23,1974
This is Adam Balm, bringing
business on the big boom'
  JOHN IDDINOS
By John Iddlngs
The  US   and the USSR each
have enough nuclear weapons to
destroy tbe world several times
over. This comes as a surprise
But has lt ever occurred to
you that these weapons are ln the
hands of men wbo, despite their
lofty positions, probably couldn't
be trusted with a shopping list?
I met with this startling realization last week and immediately
went to work on a ClvU Defense
radio script for that final broadcast we all hope not to be hearing.
The Defense Department
promptly rejected lt/but here are
a few excerpts anjrfay:
•Hello out there/all you bottled
water fans! This Is Adam Balm,
doomsday blues.
"I hope you've got a good supply of canned vegetables set
aside, because this could be a
long night. Then again, lt could be
a very short night.  If you know
time out for a word  from the
National Defense Council.
•They want to remind you that
thermonuclear blasts are a bit
different from conventional aerial firework displays. So please
don't sure directly at the fireball, even If you are wearing dark
If you Insist on watching the
blast,   make  yourself a nuclear
box. Simply
:h two ht
s ln <
other  end. If possible,   use  an
asbestos shoe box.
■We'll    be    back    with  more
"You say you used a dandruff
shampoo yesterday and today you
still have peeling skin and green
ordinary dandruff — It could be
the heartbreak of radiation poisoning. Well now, there's Whippo
Jelly!   Apply Whippo
usly ove
anything, but
-Hey  k
iy global strategy
map tells me we've all got about
fifteen minutes before the fun
begins. In those fifteen minutes
I hope to be bringing you a lot of
fine music, some helpful hints,
and plenty of lsregiats. So without
further delay, let's hear that
country western favorite by Johnny Cash, 'Ring of Fire'!"
"That was Johnny Cash and this
i, helping you keep
bringing you the business on the
big boom. Let's go right Into another tune with James Taylor's
"And you're back with Adam
Balm. Hey, here's a tidbit of
Interesting Info on (he upcoming
Inferno. While exanilnliiK your
Isody later In the night, you may
notice a curious absence of skin
or   soft   tissue.   That's called a
hip o
the h
Someone
to listen...
HAVE ANY
PROBLEMS?
CUB
TELEPHONE C0UNSEIIH6
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s from      bomb? Why
i   quick shower
LONELY?
CALL
227-4314
or 431-4041
THE MATCHMAKERS
DATING SERVICE
^tfays S>f
USED
BOOKS
EVERY
WED.
during spring semester
Qam-slpm
The Kennel Book Store
It for the inevitable
lake Quick-Snuff,
the personal sized cyanide capsule. Laboratory tests have proven that Quick-snuff Is the fastest
harmful side effects. And now
there's Kid-Croak, the orange
flavored children's cyanide In the
Senior music recital today
recital    together
r at a p.m. ln the Music
Building Recital HaU.
The program will feature music for trumpet-and tuba by
Hlndemlth^. Arutunlan, Hubay,.
Sacco.^Wifder Scheldt, and Tull.
Diane   Day   will   assist on the
THE  DAILY   COLLEGIAN
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COMMENTARY
NBA playoffs should pair
Boston Celtics, Milwaukee Bucks
r
Tuos, Apr. 23^1974 -THE DAILY COUEGIAN-3
Netters lose at Poly Invitational
By Greg Ellis
Collegian Sports Editor
The NBA semifinal playoffs are
currently under way between the
Sew York Knickerbockers and
ihe Boston Celtics, snd the Chl-
rago Bulls snd the Milwaukee
Bucks.
The Bulla made lt to the playoffs with a hard fought 4-3 series
win over the Detroit Pistons,
while the Bucks had an easy 4-4
series over the Los Angeles
Lakers. The Knlcks and Celtics
Kith had hard-fought 4-3 series
wins over the Capital Bullets and
Buffalo Braves, respectively.
The semifinals for tbe Eastern
Division and Western Division
titles definitely have basketball's
four best teams matched, wltb the
Knlcks facing the Celtics In the
East and the Bucks facing tbe
Bulls In the West.
And the only thing that really
separates the four clubs la that
n.e Bucks and Celtics have the
s .iiierior   big man In each dl-
celtlc center Dave Cowens. .
True, the Celtics probably have
basketball's best all-around
player in John Havllcek, but the
Knlcks probably have the beat
back-court combination ln basketball with Walt Frailer and
. Earl "the pearl* Monroe. And
Dave DeBusachere la no easy
touch, either.
Then why are the Celtics lead-
The simple fact of the matter
la that the Knlcks have not been
able to control the play of Cow-
ens. Tbe Knlcks have fried a
glmpy-leggeH Willis Reed, an
aging and sore-backed Jerry
Lucas and an Inexperienced John
Glanellt. But none of them have
scored or rebounded to match
the very mobile and sharp-shooting Cowens.
When you look at the Buck-
Bulls-matchup, the same situation is present. Aside from tbe
center, position, both clubs have
equal talent ln all other positions. The Bucks wtll put an aged
Oscar Robertson in the back court
(ConUnued on Page 4, Col. 4)
Baseball team faces LA
in Beiden Field competition
absorbing   I
t  the hi
•les  State  Dlablos <
cend, CSUF's baseball team
entertain Cal State Stanls-
m  a non-conference game
.   at   2:30   p.m.  at Beiden
is expected to go with Brad
<rv, John Fitzgerald andGreg
- against the Warriors. But
Bennett Is really looking
ard to Is this weekend's three
■•   series against  the Long
i State 49ers ln Long Beach.
Hulldogs are going to have to
i'  all three if they hope to
in the thick of things in the
ti PCAA race.
m Diego State currently
di at 9-3 ln the league, and
■uhlos ai
Freano lost to Long Beach 9<Q..
on Friday for only their second
dual meet loss of the year compared to ten victories. On Saturday tbe Bulldog netters bowed to
Cal Poly 9-0 and UC Santa Barbara by a close 5-4 count.
Long Beach beat Santa Barbara
9-0 and Cal Poly g-l to win the
team title. The 49ers are definitely the team to beat ln the
PCAA this year.
After the Cal Poly meet the
Fesno record was 10-4 ln dual
meet matches, but the Bulldogs
quickly got back on the winning
track yesterday.
Plajhng against Sacramento
State. University on the Fresno
borne court, the Bulldogs easily
handled the Hornets by the score
of 8-1.
In the first singles, Dennis
Alexander of Fresno beat Ed
Wilson of Sacramento by the
score or 2-6, 6-1.6-4. Mike Ryan
of Fresno won the second singles
over Sacramento's Greg Haines
by the score of 7-6. 6-3.
Phil Vartanlan of Fresno won
the third singles by the score of
6-4, 6-2 over Sacramento's Mike
Blake. Lew Brewer of'Fresno
easily leveled Jack Meyers of
Sacramento by the score of 6-1,
6-4: Jim Hayes of Fresno beet
Mark Richardson of Sacramento
by tbe score of 4-6, 6-4, 6-4 and
the Bulldogs' Tom Neuroeier beat
the Hornet's Ron Julian by the
ecore of 6-1, 6-2,
Tbe Hornets scored their only
win of the day In the flrst doubles
competition, as Wilson and Myers
defeated Alexander and Hayes by
the score of 7-6, 6-4. Ryan and
Brewer won tbe second doubles
for tbe Bulldogs by the score of
6-1, 6-3 and Vartanlan and Neu-
meler beat Sacramento's Richardson and Julian by the score of
6-2, 6-3. Tbe dual meet winover
Sacramento leaves the Bulldogs'
record st 11-4 for the year.
Coach Duane Ballard i
the Freano
good team
It's hard to attribute the success of this team to one guy,*
I aald Ballard.
Ballard Is extremely happy
; with the play of twoof Ma netters.
He expressed satisfaction ln the
| Improved play of Mike Ryan, who
Us playing the number two singles
this year ss opposed to number
five last year. Ballard also Is
|ln the number four spot. Brewer
has also been named College
Master Athlete of the Week this
spring due to his court a
right bi
d with
Felts has started to come around
at the plate tor Fresno.
Hard-luck pitcher Dan Grimm
Is still Fresno's ace In the bole,
but Mike Murphy, Steve Behlen
and Warren Brusstar have provided the Fresno staff with some '
excellent pitching. Brad Kelley,
freshman relief ace, has done a
tine Job for the Bulldogs this year.
All-PCAA outfielder Andrew
Dyes Is coming back slowly after
a broken wrist, but Coach Bennett Is hoping Dyes can make a
contribution to the Bulldog pennant drive.
All-in-all, Fresno looks as
tough as their 30-16 record Indicates, and the Bulldogs hope to
regain their stride as they come
down the stretch in the hot PCAA
pennant chase.
CSUF badminton squad takes first
tiUF sponsored Its own bad-
ito tournament over theweek-
l   "nd ended up winning team
rhe Bulldogs racked up 36
nts to win the tournament,
He Hayward State- and UC
r keley finished in a second
re tie with 17 points each.
i Francisco State scored 10
nts. UC Davis scored eight
its, and Chico State rounded
rhe team  scoring with two
The men's singles c
ship game consisted of twoCSUF
players, and Steve Nakamura defeated Henry Carrejo by the score
of 7-15, 15-10, 15-5.
An open win is worth five points
and a second place finish Is worth
four points ln the team scoring.
Jim Franklin and Pat Luis'
teamed to pick up three points
for a first place finish ln the
novice mixed doubles and Luis
teamed with Fuaako Ida to capture the novice women's doubles
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