1974_01 The Daily Collegian January 1974

              6   THE DAILY COUttlAI     Fri., Jh. 11,1974
OUR CAMPUS
A GUIDE TO BEAUTIFUL CSUF
'Complete incompetence'
J-...U974     THE DAWf C0UE6IA1    7
Bulldog gridders banned
'forever' by NCAA ruling
The National CoUeglate Ath-
■""* Association (NCAA), In a
e that the country haa awaited
mid-September, has barred
;  Fresno SUte  football team
n competlUon forever on 100
i  of complete lncompe-
Fresno State Athletic Director
Genie Boo Boo Is expected toap- '
e decision, then trade In
*  football uniforms to collect
ney for the new CSUF
! stadium slated to be
completed In August 1993.
The NCAA had met In an emergency   session   to   discuss   the
Fresno State fiasco, but took all
minutes  to arrive at
ON CAMPUS
TODAY
The first wildlife pornographic
.'ilm ever made—"Deep Gullet"—
starring the cast from Johnathon
Livingston Seagull will be shown
Jt 8 p.m. In the College Onion
Lounge.
A demonstration In grafflU
itlnfcwlll be given at 4 p.m. In
I men's restroom of theSpeech
Building. Dr. Jimmy "the
i"  Flkes wlU  be giving the
 ' f|nal conclusion, "the Bulldogs have had It coming for a
long time," a delighted NCAA
spokesman said. "It's surprising
"hat a Uttle hard work and dedication can do for a team as truly
deserving as Fresno."
Among (he charges leveled
against'the Bulldog grid program
were: Alpo on the training table,
a gross Ignorance of tackling on
defense, failure to apply a mercy
killing on Itself before the San
Diego State game, providing the
PCAA teams with too many ego
trips for one year, punting on
third down from the opponent's
two yard line because they knew
they couldn't score with 30\pound
linemen, allowing the good ath-
I letes to flunk their entrance
exams and passing the third
stringers, and becoming too
boastful when finding sun another
way to lose a game.
New Fresno SUte football
coach Julius Rufus Baboonewae
particularly confident i
he chortled, "I know we'll be
worse, Take a look at our schedule, m tell ya, we've never
undertaken a challenge like thia:
Vasser School for the Clinically
Uptight, Caruthers A and M
Avenal Tech, and we top It off
against an especially strong Cal
Poly-Boom-Boom eleven.*
President Norman Baxter will
on display i„ science 161.
maid Winkler, communlty/re-
tions officer, will dlscuse the
re appearance.
The staff of "Hindsight," the
ournallsm department's weekly
roducUon, will meet In the cattle
Jdglng pen In the AgDepartment
i dlscuas the future of the weekly
roductlon. \ej.
From all of us to all of you
Twas the night before finals and all over FSU
Not a student was doing what a student should do.
I sat on the John with my text on my lap
As I'd just settled down for my pre.finals crap
When out in the hall there arose such a clatter     •
I sprang from my perch, "What the hell is the matter?"
Away to the, window I flew like a flash
Tore open the shutter and thraw out my stash.
,    The moon wasn't out and the place was so dark
That I thought for a minute it might be a narc.
When what to my wandering eyes should appear
But a ruptured green elf and a keg full of beer
More rapid than Kissinger, my roommates they came
And he screamed and he shouted and called such a name.
"You bastards, you bitches, you voyeurs, you vixens!
You Spiro T. Agnews — you Richard M. Nixons!
If you don't know by now why bother or' cram?
Do you really believe all that crap's worth a damn?*
He was clothed all in green, from his head to his feet
And hit clothes were all covered with hashish-pipe soot.
Said he "have some fun, don't just sit there and mope."
Then my roommate piped up *Hey man, you got some dope
His eyes how they twinkled, as he smiled ear to ear,
*l'm sorry my friend, all I've got is this beer."
He said nothing more but went straight to his work.
Filled all of our mugs (3 times with a smirk
Then winking his eye and giving a yawn
He reached out and flushed himself down the John.
But I heard him exclaim as he swirled down the spiral
"Have a happy, you all! And good luck on your finals!"
cjrrtsaMVW
Parts and StwicE
fRf E;PICK UP AND DELIVERY TO CLASS,
BRING YDUR \AA/ IN FDR SERVICE
...WE'LL TAKE YOU To CLASS, THEN PICK
VU/ UP WHEN YOUR CAR IS R6APY.
SUNNYSIDE©
■.-•rtOfw-     so
c«"*$»*S«**    ^•""Sr**"""