1986_02 The Daily Collegian February 1986

              Page 4    The Daily Collegian
OPINION    Fd>ru.ry 25, 1986
Peril of mixing reading and driving
February 25,1986 REVIEW/OPINION
The Part/s Over
 JACK RATCHETT
Okay, all right, already, jeez! So I
learned my lesson; I admit it. They say you
shouldn't read and drive at thc same time,
and they were right. So I blew it, lock me
up forever, already. But I still got my
rights. I "ill get counsel. Your Honor.
jury members, you got to hear my case.
You got to let me plead my defense. You
got to accept this small bribe of gold bars.
"Sure, but just the facts," said the judge.
Fact. I was driving up 1-5 from a toga bash
in Palm Springs. Fact: There was a dob-
erman in back chewing on a Dr. Ruth
inflatable doll. Fact: If I keep telling the
facts. I won't get parole until 2070.
So. what really happened? What really
dilation? What really goes down in the
clumbers of the American Judicial Sy¬
stem? What really does down on a judge to
get all charges dropped?
Let me tell you about it. During the
drive. 1 figured I could pass the time with a
little reading So I flipped open Time-
Life's volume of "The Complete History of
Absolutely Everything That's Happened
Anywhere Ever " Pretty good stuff. Just as
I was checking out some artist's render¬
ings of Moses parting the Red Creek (he
had to do this a couple of times before
getting to the actual sea), there was this
trcmerdous noise as a guard rail impaled
mv V-6and positioned itself between my
book and my legs, like a giant bookmark,
isturbing.
There was a light at the end, and if I
squinted, 1 could just make out a sign
reading: Conserve Energy, Shut Off When
Not In Use. A shrouded and mystical fig¬
ure appeared from out of the light and
identified himself.
"I am the great shrouded and mystical
figure," he said. "To pass through the
Gates of Heaven, you must first complete
this test. Use only
s for installing a
on the family heirloom grandfather cloc
1 was truly sorry for my behavior ana
vowed to subject myself to the punishment work for the Goetz Committee for Safe
creancer from tobacco each time I violated Subways. Better get off to work, and oh
the Ten Commandments. .        yeah, cant forget to pick up a pack of
Well, I'm a new man, and I'm enjoying   Winstons on the way down.
I page
in my soul
"He directed
A soothing voice descended U]
and spoke these words:
"Bachelor No. 2. if I wen
what would you plant in me?'
I couldn't figure,it out at first. But th<
remembered the snow "In Search Of.
andThey were searching for the Eleve:
Commandment. They had uncoverei
stone tablet with the inscription: "Tl
II I ,;oi
The nes
through sc
f black v
,s floating
answers prepared in advance."
It was all coming together
were some consolation green cu
started up again, and each lime these hot
models were picking everyone but me. Il
was terrible, but suddenly things got blurry
and went black again. I heard another
voice.a doctor^ voice: "He's pulling through;
let's check first and see if he had medical
coverage."
ial to life after life experiences. Amazing
Yep. Wondrous? Yep. Total baloney? No
if the Enquirer pays me for it.
Anyway, that's all there is. but it's a fev
things I had to clear up from my past
First 1 apologized to my white roommati
for wasting his time by telling him toappl;
at 7-11. Then I asked forgiveness from m;
"LAST CHANCE
Financial Aid Workshop
The SAAC priority deadline is this Saturday,
March 1. Do you stfli need help completing your
financial aid application?
Financial aid office representatives will be available
to assist you in the college union. This "Last Chance"
workshop is Wednesday, Feb. 26 in CU Rm. 312-14,
1 p.m. - 5 p.m.	
White Lustrhim Rings
ON SALE!
$9995
JOSTENS
DATE:   FEB 27 & M      TIME:   10 ■
DEPOSIT REQ.    $40
KENNEL |
BOOKSTORE
Letters
to the editor
Editor
I applaud your editorial addressing the
Vintage Days Committee's poor judgment
in rejecting Simple Minds for CSUF's
traditional springtime concert.
Last year, the Vintage Days Committee
completely failed in providing this event.
I'm hoping that this is not going to turn
into a continuing trend.
I must say that one of the most unfortu¬
nate aspects of this frustrating situation is   I
that the concert provides a prime oppor-   i
tunity to both attract community interest   i
in campus events as well as show other
I cringe at the thought of Fresno's cur¬
rent reputation of being a difficult aud¬
ience, receptive to only heavy metal. Even
more disturbing is knowing that there are
music fans being deprived of live perfor¬
mances of bands such as Simple Minds.
I do not think changing the schedule of
events on the weekend in question would
create any attendance problems. The
change is far enough in advance, there is
plenty of time to discuss and determine
alternative arrangements for Boomtown
and Air Guitar, and the potential aud¬
ience draw for Simple Minds is far too
good to be treated so flippantly.
Simple Minds has a legitimate follow¬
ing and would provide excellent enter¬
tainment for Vintage Days. I strongly
encourage thc Committee to reconsider
and book this band before it's too late.
k groups and promoters t
Program
Continued from page 1
sses the strict confidenlia
am even to the point of
ie EAP office, which is in 5
anybody knowing. "Healso noted thai the
minimal records kept are confidential.
The university has shown its support
for the EPA by allowing employees to
"Dr. Haak had the foresight to establish
' a program like this. Other universities are
: trying to catch up," said Franz,
i The EAP also sponsors the "Learn-At-
Lunch" seminars in lhc Main Cafeteria
i and co-sponsors workshops with the Re-
i   Entry Office.
SPECIAL STUDENT/YOUTH FARES
LONT>ON
^Ol?BNHAaBN
ATHBNS
ROHB
STUDENT TRAVEL NETWORK
166 Geary Street, #702. San Francisco. CA 94108
AirGuitar
tryouts
Applications available
in College Union 306
Deadline: 4:30 p.m.
March 7
Vintage Days office 294-4008
The PaMy CoUegian   Page 5
Review
Continued from pag* 2
Co-dirt
Ben Butley (Mlcheal Mendonsa) confronts Jack Keyslort (Paul Klein) about Kejtton't future pli
of "Butley" pl»yint alternately with "Fallen Angel" through March 8.
Hillarv Sr>ector nortr»v«   lnlin\ best
friend and co-conspirator, Jane Banbury.
Spector's comic talent lies in the visual.
She gets more laughs from sight gags ana
body language than from her lines.
The third amf most memorable female
ented actress also has a leading role in   |_ -Fal,en Angels" is the multi-talented
"Fallen Angels," which will be staged   maid_ Saunders   p0rtraye<.  by Sandra
tomorrow night. Marquez. Saunders is an agreeable char-
As Julia Sterroll in Coward's comedy,    ac(er _ she ^n p,ay ,he pian0 fix homc.
Miskulin's talents shine. She is perfectly    made hangover rcrnedies, and knows eve-
m English royally to bishops.
Tony Oanot/Tnt £X_y CoBrgan
a in the CSUF production
Says U.S.
backs evil
Letters
to the editor
■ In Monday's Bee (Feb. 3) columnist
Mary McGrory wrote yet another column
on America'!.favorite newt topic: terror¬
ism. Her smiling picture belied the sober
title ("Argentina's descent into hell") arid
content ol her writings, tbe horrors lnlbcted
upon the people of Argentina by their mil¬
itary government's crusade against the
left.
I wondered, were others as moved as I
was by the descriptions of atrocities as
randd as the torture of children and old
people in order to force their relatives to
divulge information? Were they shocked
by the fact that over 300 torture centers
operated throughout the country? Do we
still have a conscience, or are we jaded and
numbered by the endless, horrible news
lhat appears, night after night?
Well, I'm going to take a risk and make
an assumption against what seems to be
pretty improbable odds. I'm going to bet
i country, still have some rem-
ad Myers and student
Laura Smith have succeeded in repertory
theater — an area avoided by many uni¬
versities because of its complexities.
M.C. Drake's costume design helps set
both plays in their perspective periods.
The frilly evening gowns for "Fallen An¬
gels" and the distinquished tweed suits
and sweaters for "Butley" help both the
audience and the performers identify with
ants of a
Ifyouar
lorrified a:
ional
a shocked and repulsed, nay,
Tibytc
Here
a sophisticated minx, sashaying
i beautifully designed
lie timing is near-perfect.
The a:
BUTLEY
Feb. 25 and27, MarchSat 7:30p.m.
March I and 7 at 8 p.m.
FALLEN ANGELS
Feb. 26. March 4 and 6 at 7:30 p.m.
Feb. 28, March 8 at 8 p.m.
March 2, matinee at 2 p.m.
TICKET IN FORMA TION
Reservations can be made at the
University Thearfr Box Office or by call¬
ing 294-2216. Tickets are $6 general. $4
CSUF staff and senior
students.
s. andS3foi
" 'Butley' Is more dramati¬
cally engaging, but 'Fallen
Angels' is not without
merit."
Marquez' fine performance is gold —
she receives 60 percent of the laughs. But
the scene-stealing antics are written into
Coward's script, even a mediocre actress
would have difficulty destroying this de¬
light.
But the cast shouldn't be the only ones
recognized for their solid, double-duty
efforts; the crew — directors, costume
designer and scene designer — deserve
praise for their work.
sign is vt
deco styling for the I920s-era
ngels" in James Gunn's set de-
appropriate. The natural colors
help give Coward's comedy an airy feel.
Gunn's design for "Butley" is darker,
more depressing and stark — a good
backdrop for Ben Butley's eroding rela-
While "Butley" and "Fallen Angels"
might have been better with a concentrated
effort on jnsl one of them, both survive in
repertory. They are two good productions:
both radically different and both highly
time you put your money where your
mouth is. It is very easy for an endless
spate of columnists to express profound .
disgust and moral repulsion for these
atrocities, but,....where is ther (or your,
my fellow citizen) crusade against the
unspeakable horrors that can be prevented,
the tortures that we could stop with some¬
thing as simple as a letter, telephone call,
or vote once every two or four years?
I am referring to the torture network
that relies on U.S. support throughout the
world. Not moral support. Not rhetorical
support. Support that consists of every¬
thing from supplying the actual torture
equi pment (courtesy of our CI A) to arming
and instructing the militaries of these
countries in the latest "interrogation"
techniques. Where, perchance, do you
imagine Guatemala got its training and
equipment for the hideous tortures that
were inflicted upon her people since the
Sm LETTER, pacj. 8
cApple <Day at
Kennel
^Bookstore
February 26
An Apple Representative
will be available to
answer any questions
you might have regarding
the Macintosh
9:00 a.m.
Golden Key<
Honor
Society
is
today
Send your application
MEMBERSHIP
DEADLINE
ISP*    RANDY SMITH
Enjou. an evening of easu, blend Rock and Folk music
ItanoV.wholsprMcrvt^fecrtijredcrtTrwCriWfV^^
both the piano and guftar. He has opened for Papa Do Run Run at last
uear's Vintage Dent* and for the Commodores at Warners. Ranckj __
be accompanied bq Joe Otrveira on the saxophone. Pirter Saint-
Michaels ho* performed in clubs from London to Paris to San
Francisco ond New York, Making her musical debut at the Coffeehouse.
Terrq Barnes is a senior at CSuT. ;	
Wednesday, February 26,1986—8:00 p.m.
Whltf l-ld HoH/Soumta Coftecj. UrOofi
CSUF Students $1.00 " Genera* $2.00