1984_12 The Daily Collegian December 1984

              8-The Daily Collegian
December 7, 1984
The Daily CoUegfa..f-»
Into a family outing.
Top page 9: For Jim Cruz a trip to the
grocery   store   can   turn   into   a   family
Top right: A typical morning in the Cruz
household; Misty and Courtney appear
more   interested   in   watching   television
than citing breakfast.
Top left: Coaching the Tarpy Elementary
soccer team, of which Misty is a member,
is also part of Cruz's life.
Middle right: To make extra money he is
_pey plays with a pair of boots.
Middle left: While the younger daughter
scins through a catalogue, Cruz does his
Bottom: Before bed Cruz makes sure
the girls have brushed their teeth, combed
Special problems affect single fathers
"Itisbecoi
ing n
e prcva
As a single father, Jim Cruz doesn't lack
in love or patience for his girls. It's the
little things that arc perplexing to him as
the only parent in their household.
"One problem is their hair; trying to
braid it, or put in ribbons or pony tails or
double pony tails. Trying to make them
look like girls," Cruz said.
t that the father would rather have
tody so he knows where his money 'i
going," Terry said.
She also said that women are mor
often deciding to give up custody.
Related story page
10
h.ldre
and g
other.
hat h
with  their
were not available for the number of sin¬
gle fathers whose children live with them,
Carol Terry, president of Parents Without
Partners, said there are more wortien .who
have custody of their children.
However, that is changing. Terry said.
"Mothers have just started saying, 'I'm
not going to cope with it anymorc'and are
giving up custody rights."
Cruz, who declined to give his age, has
found that being a single father, especially
of two little girls, has special problems.
"It's hard being able to pick out the
right clothes for the right age." he said.
Cruz said it's hard to him to know if some¬
thing fits because he can't go into the
women's changing rooms.
"And then there's the bathrooms.
They're at that age where they can go to
by themselves, so 111 point to
the right one and stand outside and wait
for them," he said.
Cruz recalled once standing outside a
public restroom waiting for Misty. 6 and
Courtney, 4, and a woman saw him wait¬
ing there as she went in. She gave him a
dirty look, he said.
"1 got to thinking, she probably thinks
I'm some kind of a pervert," Cruz said.
Later, the woman realized the two little
girls inside the restroom were his and
offered to help them. Cruz said that most
people are more than happy to assist him.
He said he's not bashful about asking for
help in clothing stores, and will often ask a
woman in the grocery store how she fixed
her daughter's hair.
There are some problems, however,
friendly advice can't remedy. Although he
and Donna, whom he is in the process of
getting a divorce from, share custody of
the children, Courtney and Misty only see
their mother about 10 limes a year. They
have been separated fortwo-and-one-half
He said some people assume he is keep¬
ing the children from seeing their mother,
when in reality, the current situation has
been agreed upon by all of them.
"Generally, I think people think I'm
doing a good job when they meet the girls.
But there is some awkwardness," he said.
"I think the men are as responsible as
class before.
He likes to lake his girls almost every¬
where he goes, so dating is hard, he said.
He doesnt know if hell-
obc
thew
is full
Cruz is a busy man. Along with
load of classes, he is self-employed as a
process-server. He travels all over Cali¬
fornia in the summer and as far aw*y as
Merced during the school year for his job.
Because he isn't married, if the girls get
sick, things get complicated.
"As a single parent, I have to be ready
for illnesses and colds that can happen at
six in the morning. Then 1 have to skip
school and try to find someone to take
care ofthe kids,"he said. "I Ve taken them
my little girtf	
Cruz, who also has a son and a daughter
from another marriage, said his love of
children started while fighting in the Viet¬
nam War. For two weeks he helped a pri¬
est ar an orphanage in Vietnam.
"I wish I could have taken those child¬
ren home with me," he said.
After he was discharged from the Army,
Cruz came back lo his native Fresno, and
attended Fresno City College. He became
a deputy, and worked for the Sheriffs
Department for eight-and-one-half years
until he decided to attend CSUF and
become a coach and teacher.
But because of financial problems, he
doesnt know if he'll ever get hit teaching
credential. He said he11,probably go back
to the Sheriffs Department.
"1 may have to go back to law enforce¬
ment in order to obtain good benefits for
the children."
"It really taxes your ability. Just because
you're an adult doesnt qualify you lo be a
The pressure .of raising the girls on one
income and going to school is heavy, he
said.
"I become frustrated sometimes because
I dont get a chance to study. Sometimes 1
stay up all night studying."
"Sometimes I geta little angry with God
because he doesnt give me enough hours.
1 just hope lha vent bitten off more than 1
"Somethimes the girls can sense that
I'm tense and they'll come in and see me,
and give me a hug, and that makes it aB
worthwhile." {