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Timeout
THE DAILY
COLLEGIAN
Wednesday, April 9, 1997
How to survive cybersex on the 'Net
By Bethany Thompson
The Daily Collegian
Today's topic for serious dis¬
cussion is ihe Internet: in par¬
ticular the chat rooms and how
you can tell if the guy you're
talking lo is "no good."
I had the opportunity to talk
lo'several people. Well, thai was
when people decided lo talk u ith
me. because Usually what hap¬
pened lo me was this:
Me (entering dial room): Hi
everyone' (sound ol everyone
leaving the channel).
This is unlike my sisier who
doesn't even have lo enter a
channel anil 25 people want lo
talk lo her Nol thai. I'm jealous
or anything
But no mailer how many
people, you lalk to, you still need
a system to tell the bad ones
from the loonies (Allei all. as
students, there is only a certain
amount ol lime we have to waste
on ihe computer and wc want to
make sure it's wasted well).
I've come up with a lew signs
lo" look lor to tell if Ihe guy
you're talking to is a big waste
ol time.
One way to toll if the person
is "no good" is if one of the first
questions he asks is "what are you
•wearing?"
A good resptinSfc is "My sexy
slinky Cyber lingerie." (Transla¬
tion; sweats).
If a guy asks you this, your
Cyber sex warning bells should be
ringing like mad in your head be¬
cause this is one of those questions
lhal indicates that Ihe person wants
to lalk aboul something more inti¬
mate than |usi your keen fashion
sense - if you gel my drill
Other Cybersex indicators are
"What color is your underwear'.''
"Are you naked?" and. of course,
the incredibly subtle "Wanna have
Cybersex '"
()l course the proper response lo
this is "Do you have a Cyber
condom?" because, as everyone
should know, you should neverever
have Cybersex with someone un
less they wear a Cyber condom
If you want lo politely decline
ihe romantic and delicately offered
proposition you should say some¬
thing like. "Not right now. but
thanks for asking."
.Other options include slapping
him around with a trout or reveal¬
ing lhal you are really a 26-year-
old iransvesiiie (This onlv works
if he doesn't like 26-year-old
transvestites, so il has to be used
with caution).
Another way lo toll it the guy
is ii dork is. if after 30 minutes���of chatting, he indicates any of
the following in a serious man¬
ner
a) He loves you
b) A desire to bear your chil¬
dren (even more disconcerting
since he's supposed lo be male >
c) A desire to send you plain
wrapped licking packages lo
your home or work as a symbol
of his loyalty.
Any of these can indicate
only one thing aboul your IRC
chatting partner
He is nuls
There are other signs ol
course like ihe guy isacom-
plele moron or he actually en¬
joys watching "Days of Our
lives" i plot summary Sami and
Lucas ruining llnngs lor Came
and Austin since 1X^7)
Bul those are obvious and go
without saying You should defi¬
nitely actively avoid people who
express any ol these things
This is for your safely and
ultimate IRC enjoyment.
ACROSS
i Plants seeds
5 Well-known
10 Value
14 Opera highlight
15 Wear away
16 Essayist ot old
17 Drop
18 Carols
19 Swabs
20 Join up
22 Smallest
24 Clatter
26 Soak flax
27 Keep lor future
use
30 Stone images
34 - mode
35 Unspoken
37 Church teaching
38 Platform
40 Stringed
instruments
42 Senous
43 Book o* maps
45 Lassoed
47 Even score
48 Bring back
50 Go ahead
52 Rubber tree
53 irritate
54 Natve American
soon
58 Came close
62 Enthusiastic
63 Jeweled
headdress
65 Shore bird
66 — trap (or
67 Made a mistake
68 Kuwait's ruler
69 Low card
70 Go mto
71 Look lor
DOWN
1 Secure
2 Algerian port
3 Determination
4 Salty
5 Celebration
6 Mr Onassis
7 Gambling game
8 Rim
9 Sahara, eg
10 Made payment
11 — vera
1 I1 I' I' H* I' I' I1 I1 H'" I" I" I"
17 Hn Hr? 1
a — p—mn W 1
■■■iniitiiniiii
27 7% 5| ■■"l^ 11 M M
5 ^ ' S^MMil ' J""
43 *4T«p8 4«nHB47
m 5o| ■■so- |$T|
54 B 56 57| ■■*• i ■ «° "
B M<3 t—■ — Jie
12 Tums over
13 Direcxm
2' Kind
23 T,dy
25 Obtair
27 Airport device
28 Make jubilant
29 Goes by sea
30 Russian plain
31 Bring together
32 Weird
33 Fast horse
36 Japanese
admiral
39 Calendar wore
41 Love song
44 Alone
46 Bird of peace
49 Reposed
51 Hals
53 Oyster gem
54 Endure
a.' " 3B° a aj"
Va 0 slvju wjT
0 3 a v|i|Mp^aIs
HII ■ * ' 1 jH
CI 3 3 3jO U,dll9
3 1 1 | 0 3 djo^u
3 a 1 0 I s 3 ijn
1 3In 3 1 ■ilij3
■ > 3V1
"III
a 0 i s 3 a
■jIEIl
v,i ■> 1 »
slain i v TIsP 3
H1 3 uHT si
lltll 1 N VJ l|
6<di° **Hfi ° N|i
v 1 t gHslo o'a
3;J 'v.tiflqifjiijv
A bi3[s 3 a
1on|1I
Sll;1 V i
3Hv 1 a v
<■'> « 0 s
55 Assert formally
56 Refer to
57 Father
59 European
capital
60 Toledo's
waterfront
61 Dim
64 Clerical one
abbr
Need A Study Break?
COFFEEHOUSE
&PUB
Beer-Battered Onion Rings
Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich
Fish-n-Chips
Tuna Salad Sandwich
Turkey Sandwich*
Roast Beef Sandwich*
Vegetarian Delight Burger
Fresh Garden Soup
Chili and Beans
Clam Chowder (Fridays only)
Healthy Choice (97% FAT FREE!)
DRAFT BEERS
Bass Ale
Bridal Veil Ale
Poster's Lager
Guinness Stout
Heineken
New Castle
Samual Adams
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
Wyder's Pear Cider
Open Mon - Thurs 7:00 am - 8:00 pm, Friday 7:00 am - 4:00 pm
Object Description
| Title | 1997_04 The Daily Collegian April 1997 |
| Alternative Title | Daily Collegian (California State University, Fresno) |
| Publisher | Associated Students of Fresno State, Fresno, Calif. |
| Publication Date | 1997 |
| Description | Daily (except weedends) during the school year. Microfilm. Palo Alto, Calif.: BMI Library Microfilms, 1986- microfilm reels; 35 mm. Vol.1, no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- |
| Subject | California State University, Fresno -- Periodicals. |
| Contributors | Associated Students of Fresno State. |
| Coverage | Vol.1 no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- to present |
| Format | Microfilm reels, 35 mm. |
| Technical Information | Scanned at 600 dpi; TIFF; Microfilm ScanPro 2000 "E-image data" |
| Language | eng |
Description
| Title | April 9, 1997, Page 3 |
| Alternative Title | Daily Collegian (California State University, Fresno) |
| Publisher | Associated Students of Fresno State, Fresno, Calif. |
| Publication Date | 1997 |
| Description | Daily (except weedends) during the school year. Microfilm. Palo Alto, Calif.: BMI Library Microfilms, 1986- microfilm reels; 35 mm. Vol.1, no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- |
| Subject | California State University, Fresno -- Periodicals. |
| Contributors | Associated Students of Fresno State. |
| Coverage | Vol.1 no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- to present |
| Format | Microfilm reels, 35 mm. |
| Technical Information | Scanned at 600 dpi; TIFF; Microfilm ScanPro 2000 "E-image data" |
| Language | eng |
| Full-Text-Search |
i
Timeout
THE DAILY
COLLEGIAN
Wednesday, April 9, 1997
How to survive cybersex on the 'Net
By Bethany Thompson
The Daily Collegian
Today's topic for serious dis¬
cussion is ihe Internet: in par¬
ticular the chat rooms and how
you can tell if the guy you're
talking lo is "no good."
I had the opportunity to talk
lo'several people. Well, thai was
when people decided lo talk u ith
me. because Usually what hap¬
pened lo me was this:
Me (entering dial room): Hi
everyone' (sound ol everyone
leaving the channel).
This is unlike my sisier who
doesn't even have lo enter a
channel anil 25 people want lo
talk lo her Nol thai. I'm jealous
or anything
But no mailer how many
people, you lalk to, you still need
a system to tell the bad ones
from the loonies (Allei all. as
students, there is only a certain
amount ol lime we have to waste
on ihe computer and wc want to
make sure it's wasted well).
I've come up with a lew signs
lo" look lor to tell if Ihe guy
you're talking to is a big waste
ol time.
One way to toll if the person
is "no good" is if one of the first
questions he asks is "what are you
•wearing?"
A good resptinSfc is "My sexy
slinky Cyber lingerie." (Transla¬
tion; sweats).
If a guy asks you this, your
Cyber sex warning bells should be
ringing like mad in your head be¬
cause this is one of those questions
lhal indicates that Ihe person wants
to lalk aboul something more inti¬
mate than |usi your keen fashion
sense - if you gel my drill
Other Cybersex indicators are
"What color is your underwear'.''
"Are you naked?" and. of course,
the incredibly subtle "Wanna have
Cybersex '"
()l course the proper response lo
this is "Do you have a Cyber
condom?" because, as everyone
should know, you should neverever
have Cybersex with someone un
less they wear a Cyber condom
If you want lo politely decline
ihe romantic and delicately offered
proposition you should say some¬
thing like. "Not right now. but
thanks for asking."
.Other options include slapping
him around with a trout or reveal¬
ing lhal you are really a 26-year-
old iransvesiiie (This onlv works
if he doesn't like 26-year-old
transvestites, so il has to be used
with caution).
Another way lo toll it the guy
is ii dork is. if after 30 minutes���of chatting, he indicates any of
the following in a serious man¬
ner
a) He loves you
b) A desire to bear your chil¬
dren (even more disconcerting
since he's supposed lo be male >
c) A desire to send you plain
wrapped licking packages lo
your home or work as a symbol
of his loyalty.
Any of these can indicate
only one thing aboul your IRC
chatting partner
He is nuls
There are other signs ol
course like ihe guy isacom-
plele moron or he actually en¬
joys watching "Days of Our
lives" i plot summary Sami and
Lucas ruining llnngs lor Came
and Austin since 1X^7)
Bul those are obvious and go
without saying You should defi¬
nitely actively avoid people who
express any ol these things
This is for your safely and
ultimate IRC enjoyment.
ACROSS
i Plants seeds
5 Well-known
10 Value
14 Opera highlight
15 Wear away
16 Essayist ot old
17 Drop
18 Carols
19 Swabs
20 Join up
22 Smallest
24 Clatter
26 Soak flax
27 Keep lor future
use
30 Stone images
34 - mode
35 Unspoken
37 Church teaching
38 Platform
40 Stringed
instruments
42 Senous
43 Book o* maps
45 Lassoed
47 Even score
48 Bring back
50 Go ahead
52 Rubber tree
53 irritate
54 Natve American
soon
58 Came close
62 Enthusiastic
63 Jeweled
headdress
65 Shore bird
66 — trap (or
67 Made a mistake
68 Kuwait's ruler
69 Low card
70 Go mto
71 Look lor
DOWN
1 Secure
2 Algerian port
3 Determination
4 Salty
5 Celebration
6 Mr Onassis
7 Gambling game
8 Rim
9 Sahara, eg
10 Made payment
11 — vera
1 I1 I' I' H* I' I' I1 I1 H'" I" I" I"
17 Hn Hr? 1
a — p—mn W 1
■■■iniitiiniiii
27 7% 5| ■■"l^ 11 M M
5 ^ ' S^MMil ' J""
43 *4T«p8 4«nHB47
m 5o| ■■so- |$T|
54 B 56 57| ■■*• i ■ «° "
B M<3 t—■ — Jie
12 Tums over
13 Direcxm
2' Kind
23 T,dy
25 Obtair
27 Airport device
28 Make jubilant
29 Goes by sea
30 Russian plain
31 Bring together
32 Weird
33 Fast horse
36 Japanese
admiral
39 Calendar wore
41 Love song
44 Alone
46 Bird of peace
49 Reposed
51 Hals
53 Oyster gem
54 Endure
a.' " 3B° a aj"
Va 0 slvju wjT
0 3 a v|i|Mp^aIs
HII ■ * ' 1 jH
CI 3 3 3jO U,dll9
3 1 1 | 0 3 djo^u
3 a 1 0 I s 3 ijn
1 3In 3 1 ■ilij3
■ > 3V1
"III
a 0 i s 3 a
■jIEIl
v,i ■> 1 »
slain i v TIsP 3
H1 3 uHT si
lltll 1 N VJ l|
6 |
