1995_05 The Daily Collegian May 1995

              2—The Daily Collegian     Wednesday, May 3,1995
Editorial/Opinion
ANPNOW.A WOK AT THE M » THE MWWSB V/TWiS ROOk
Being a leader takes
m6re than a brain
■        ^
- As a scientist and as an educated college student, I have no
choice, but to accept evolution as fact, but I find it emotionally,
spiritually and mentally comforting to believe that thqgjsa god.
One of the most interesting aspec ts to my belief, especially since I am
a physiology major and hope to someday be a medical doctor, is not
how the human being came to be (111 let the proponents of dif feren t
religions argue that one out), but more on how it was decided which
organ in our body was the most important, and, thus, which could
serve as the leader, so to say, of our bodies.
Many people have heard of god creating man, specifically
Adam according to Judeo-Christian religions, but many of us have
no idea of the great dilemma that occured once Adam was all made
and ready.
Just as we see on our campus at this time every year, there was
within Adam a great deal of confusion^argiiment and bickering. It
was time to choose a leader for mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
this newly created body.
The brain said, "I'm the    'JuSt gOeS tO
smartest all the information from
the senses come to me, and I can    SHOW yOU,
do higher thinking. I should be
the leader."
"No, no, no. I want to be
leader," said the heart "After all,
where would you all be if I wasn't
there to pump all the blood to
you.'
rftRACEWAMHOCKcR
Has seen all ol 0.J.V mcfviet $a.ys
"Such a vrfiu acton *coulrJr» t have
pottiHy Killed his *"fe.
you can be an
anus and still
be theieader.'
"I mostprofoundly disagree. You arejust trying to suppress the
voices of the GI tract," said the stomach "I should be leader, for if I
was not there to process food, none of you would have any energy
to do anything."
As everyone was arguing from way, way in the back of the room,
there was a quiet voice that said, "I want to be leader."
Everyone turned around. Who could this be? Who else was
smart enough, confident enough, qualified enough to want to be
leader? It was the anus! \
Everybody started laughing. Vy
"How can you be the leader?" asked the brain. "You're not smart
iikelam." •   _}      / i '
"You don't pump blpocHike I do," said the hejArt "You're not
important You can't be the leader."
The anusygot pretty pissed off. You would to, if everyone was
putting youcaown and humiliating you.
He saict "If I'm not so important and can't be the leader, well,
then I'm just going to close down shop and go on vacation! So long
suckers." V
And with that he Was gone. Noweverybody else blew runvoff
and kept on arguing. Aday went byand they werestill arguing; two
days then three days passed. By the end of the week, things had
changed. All the food had piled up and the stomach was so full and
in so much pain that he couldn't argue anymore.
The heart couldn't pump properly because she had all these
waste products floating around jn her circulatory system. The brain
couldn't think. It was terrible. Everything came' to a grinding halt
without the anus. ** ' ■
Fortunately, the anus took his cellular phone with him on
vacation so they called him up. <
"OJC, OJC you can be leader. Please come back!"
Just goes to show you, you can be an anus and s till be the leader.
And tor all those students running for student government,
don't give up. Work hard. Learn to manipulate and twist words
around. Learn to shout, scream and make a fool of yourself, and you
too, can be a leader of ASI, the Association*)* Stupid Idiots.
PEARL ANN gDpvtM
Swears *on ttte. 0iWe mai 5he vm» rWina.
a drir*. wim Q.J. in a rcadKoasx m Potts
Camp,Miwssipfi between WOOand «co
on #*. rveft o\*bl murders.
1EVTERTfcRTON      .
rVmcrOJJtamrriatt.Wr<s
*pr<nv dan<£sur€:   to ne^er saw
O.J. Kill anyone Wore.
waMNC T. ZDMKERFEU?    .
SSS3S Vie LAPS, 3SK *t Mafctfhe
OAand irie G»tan <ywernment
wiwnv%wt»i<c..
[HST1WBVTIO IV TWWJHf MCOIA SCffVKXS
Dilbert® by Scott Adams
TODA* WE'RE TMXING
ABOUT SEX AFTER
rAARRlNGE.   TAA.NY LIdERI
SUPPORT MLb DEPRAVED i
PRACTICE BUT I DO NOT J
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