1995_04 The Daily Collegian April 1995

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2-rlhe DaityConegian     Wednesday, April 19,1995
Editorial/Opinion
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News Not Worthy
By Shannon ^ftfentworth
Towel chewing, baby
snowy egret can save
us from ourselves
I haven't yet commented on the hiring^of Jerry tarkanian.
I've been biting my tongue becaltieT don't much care about
men's basketball, but I am about sick of the insinuations that
Tark the Shark is going to save Fresno from crime, violence
and end the. poverty eating away at our fair city like a cantan¬
kerous ulcer.
What is a winqjng basketball team going to do for Fresno?
It is going to mean we have a winning basketball team and
that our university may have more money to spend.
But this baby snowy egret-lookin', towel chewin' Shark
isn't Christ resurrected and he can't do for Fresno what a
SWAT team can't.
He cannot save us from ourselves.
If you think I am exaggerating Fresno's reaction to Tark,
take a walk through the Free Speech Area. There is a large
banner with an evolutionary chain and Tarkanian as the end
result of evolution.
Scary, all of humanity comes down to a baby snowy
egret basketball coach. Get a grip, people.
Cramming at Lunch
■    •    /—N
The Reentry Student Center has come up with the perfect
diet plan, if you are into sadomasochistic, cheese-squeezing
diets. The RSC is planning a lunch time study session today
all about "Final Papers! How to Begin."
I know their motives are good and this session should
relieve some anxiety, but who can eat and think about finals
at the same time? If you could manage to choke down your
lunch, could you keep it down?
Or would it shoot through you like a bullet train bound
for the great sanitation plant at the e<ige of town?
Anyone interested in testing their digestive system can go
to the Reentry Student Center from noon to 1 p.m. today.
Bon Apperit and other positive gastrointestinal tidings!
Glamour suggest breast
fondling for better health
Glamour magazine and Hanes Hosiery would like to
invite womento touch their breasts for a happier, healthier
tomorrow. V     j
Go ahead/pulJ up your shirt, slide your hand up under
your bra and let your fingers do the walking.
It isn't for your own personal enjoyment, but hell it could
be. It is actually a part of a breast-health education program
put on by Glamour and Hanes. The program is called "Hand
in Hand"; sounds like fun to me.
According to Susan J. Blumenthal, Assistari^urgeon
General, the program is designed for women to "learn tipe    \
size and shape of (her] breasts; understand how they feel."
Of course, Hanes and Glamour have a vested interest in
ending the breast cancer plague. Breasts—big, beautiful)^
tightly bound, gravity-defying — are an integral part ofV
Glamour's success. And Hanes sells bras.   . N -.
I am not insinuating that their motives are anything but
pure. It is terrific that these two corporate powerhouses have
teamed up to fight breast cancer. \
Hell, anyone who advocates breast fondling is okay in
my book. If you are interested in knowing more about touch¬
ing your breasts, call (516)825-0400.
Overgrazing causing beef movement
DearEditor,
Since greed has no con-
science, will political
changes befitting only the
wealthy, mean students
(y^pu?) won't be able to fin¬
ish college? Will kid broth¬
ers (yours?) not get a school
meal? Will grandparents
(yourt?) not be able to get
sustaining medical treats
ment?
The cattle lobby, fi¬
nanced by beef you ate,
paid for political change.
Not buying beef (you) can
impede at least one group
whose activities affecting
legislation harm you.
Around the country,
large numbers of legisla¬
tors and local officials are,
in fact, cattle ranchers - per¬
haps the same ranchers
who are trying to arrest
control of land (belonging
Your Name Here
■a
m
Letters to the Editor
c/o The Daily Collegian
Keats Campus Building
Mail Stop 42
Fresno, CA 93740-0042
E-mail. SLW02@mondrian.csi
to all Americans) from our
government in order to
block rangeland reform.
Overgrazing and other
abuses by cattle and cattle
interests on our public lands
are threatening theexistence
of many species - as well as
our country.
When rancher-legisla¬
tors or rancher official con¬
trol lawmaking bodies con¬
flict of interest (and ethics
involved) shduld be ex¬
posed.
No one. can help every
good cause but most for¬
saken Americans can help
their cause, too, By being
part of a "Save our over¬
grazed public lands - Don't
buy beef" movement.
James Griffin
Fallon, NY
Ml^WWi. IN NEW UWAPSU'RE
Dllbert® by Scott Adams
DOGBERT  FINANCIAL ADVISOR
HERE'S  A PICTURE OF
YOU LIVING IN A
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BUT IF YOU INVEST
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The Daily CoUegian
California State University, Fresno
Edttor in Chief:
Staff Witters: Lisa Alvey, Paulo Albuquerque, Adam
Brady, David John Chavez, Brian R. Fisher, Adrianne
Go, Matt Hart, Lucy Her, Ken Koller, Belinda Lee,
Maria- Machuca, Draeger Martinez, David Mirhadi,
Erin Smith.
Photoc rathers: Ken Koller, Zia Nezami, Todd Warshaw,
Hadi Yazdanpanah.
Advertising: Chrb Baxter, Dennis Claborn, David
Fakhrl Nina Momjian, Brad Wilson.
ADVomsiNG: 209/2785731
News: 209/2782486
ErxrowAD 209/ 2785732
A rts& Entertainment: 209/ 2782556
Fax* 209/2782679
Printed on Recycled Newsprint
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Shannon Wentworth   .
Managing Editor: Joe Rosato Jr
PHcnoEprroR; Steve R. Fujimoto
Srans Edttor: DcwStolhand
Entektajnment.   Shelly Silva & Leah Perjch
Advertising Manager: Richard Nlxon
Prccucton:      Ken Koller & Rusty Rosson
Business Manager} Jamie Wilcox
CortEonovs: ChuiMinc Am;
Christine Malamanjg
Shelly Silva
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