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October 1,1992
" "7 ■
The Daily Collegian Op/Ed-3
FUED
Continued from page 2
"Okay, Dad, what do you do
when you go to the circus?**
"Well, I would say, get drunk
and yell and make a fool of my¬
self.**
"Survey says ..."Ding. "Num¬
ber three answer."
Tom steps down the panel to
sister Sheryl. "Hi honey." Tom'
bends over and kisses the adoles¬
cent. Her eyes look sunk in due to
an overshadowing of dark eye¬
liner.
"No strikes on the board, dar¬
ling. What do you do at the circus?
Now, remember, this is a family
show."The siudio audience laughs.
"Weyall, I'd probably give my
boyfriend a hand job."
Ma smacks her across her head.
Buzzzz. "Awww, there's your
first strike."
Tom moves down to big brother
Bill. "Bill, nice tattoo."Tom points
to a large green eagle on Bill's
arm, sticking out from his cut off
sleeve.
"Wanna see my tattoo Bill?"
The audience laughs as Tom feigns
a motion to drop his drawers. Bill
turns red. "Hell no!"
"Nan, Bill, I'm just pulling your
leg. You married Bill?"
"Ya, Tom, I'm on my third
one."
"Only two ex-wives to avoid
payments to, Bill? You must have
some sorta secret for strong rela¬
tionships." N^l
"I do there Tom. I haVe one
saying for finding good women
that my daddy there taught me. A
good woman only needs one good
open hand across the mouth. If it
takes more, dump the bitch."
"Now watch i hose love words
there, Bill. Two answers left on
the board. What do you do when
you go to the circus?"
"Pig out on junk food."
"Survey says..." Ding!
Tom moves down to younger
brother J i m. Jim is wearing a poly¬
ester shirt, buttons open, collar
pulled up. He has the tell-tale neck
hickeys and long, wavy hair. His
baseball cap says "Mechanics do
it Dirty."
"You look like a ladies man,
Jim. Which do you like better—
climbing under die hood to work
on a two-tone primer Camaro or
into the back scat to work on a
two-ton Etorito-cating honey?"
"Well, Tom, if the date goes
good enough, I usually get to both."
"Are you gonna get married
someday, Jim?" Tom asks.
"Sure. Wheneverl accidentally
knock a chick up."
"And when you take that inad¬
vertent love child to the circus,
what would you do Jim?"
"Uh,Td probably pay attention
to the little nigral and try to make
sure he has a good time."
Tom looks incredulous. "Give
the kids positive attention ... sur¬
vey says ..." Buzzz. 'Two strikes
for the Yoder family."
Tom moves down to Grandpa
Joe.
"How are you doing today,
Grandpa Joe?"
"Huh? My granddaughter drops
her drawers for every boy she
meets."
"GrandPA!"
"I got grandkids from half-a-
dozen greaseballs all over town,"
the old coot continues unabated.
"Why can't she just settle down
with a cousin?"
Tom asks, "What do you do
when you go to the circus?"
"I ain't making no fuss. I just
wanted to go out and get some ice
cream and they dragged me down
here for..."
Tom jumps on the opportunity.
"Eat iccccecrreeeam. Survey says
..." Buzzzzz.
"Now the McFarlands have a
\S
Kappa Alpha Theta's kite flies ever higher.
Congratulations new members
v
\Alice Aperocho
Gina Kandarian
Michelle Logoluso
Joanna Martin
Melissa Ouzounian
Michele Papagni
Gracia Philip
Stacey Pickett
Robyn Rader
April Thompson
Lori Vasquez
Michelle Wojewoda
... As we add ribbons to itfs tail.
Come meet our new members Sunday Oct. 4th.
at Sorority Presents.
Andrea Borgetello
Susan Bucholtz
Stacy Buckley
\Julie Doslak
Angela Elliot
Ashley Grimsley
Charlotte Hibbs
\fennifer Ives
Amy Johnson
Seannajuhnsoti
chance to steal," Tom says walk¬
ing over to the other family gath¬
ered together shooting ideas for
that final answer.
"Pick my nose." 'Throw pop¬
corn at the animals." "Yell cuss
words when it's quiet." "Pop little
kids' balloons."
Tom walks up to the head of the
family. He's wearing a T-shirt that
says "Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
Made Me What I Am today."
"So, dad, this is for all die
money."
"I'd have to say grab a piece a
nice ass in line and act like I didn * t
doit"
"Survey says..." Ding.
CRIME
Continued from page 2
Monica Hospital, in the CPS ar¬
ticle. .
So, you can be assured that
with this law in' force, (and help
from you in the campus commu¬
nity in alerting us to crime you
may hear about or be a victim of)
we at The Daily Collegian will do
our best to bring you information
about crime on campus. Because
we all need to know*- what can
potentially affect us individually
in a very private and horrible way.
O •
.
CLASSIFIEDS
Immigration
GREEN CARD LOTTERY
40,000 Available, Final
Year Apply Now - 1-800-
767-5906
EARN $1,500 WEEKLY
mailing our circulars! ...
Begin NOW!... FREE
packets! SEYS, Dcpt. 27, Box
4000, Cordova, TN 38018-
4000.
MAC 512K w/external drive
300,000 obo Nancy 277-1081
For Rent
Apartment For Rent
Walk to School
2Br + 2Ba$365;lBr$295
647 W. Barstow Ave,
Clovis 299-5851
NEED MONEY FOR
Come home to easy going
household quiet Fig-garden: S225
COLLEGE? EDUCATIONAL +1/4 utililics. 221-0617.
RESOURCES 805-646 - 4867.
Summer mgmt Internship
with the largest, most
experienced student painting
company in the industry.
Valuable experience managing
a team of employees, customers,
and supplies. Potential for
advancements in future due to
constant growth. Most hiring
done by Nov. So motivated
peopto need to apply now. Call
Student Works Painting
(Formerly Student Painters)
1 -800 -394 -6000.
For Sale
Sofa & Love scat beige &
blue xlint cond. $300-
438-9020
Collegian
Advertising
278 - 5734
Call to Reserve
Space Today!
Responsible female roommate
needed. 3 bedroom house near FSU|
$250/month + 1/3 bills. Jen 221
8238.
Female roommate needed near
CSUF call Liz at work 227-3933.
Bedroom rental female non-
smoker/drinker Old-Town Clovis
S235/monih utililics included
shared bath references $75 deposit
298-1697 \
-'
Misc.
Lose weight easily and keep it
off guaranteed. Call 497 - 8448.
Diana's Typing Service
Thesis, Term Papers, etc. near
CSUF, 431-0730
Want to earn extra $ S S
part-time call 497 - 8448.
God & Mike Eagles, a # 1
rich successful leader Fresno
f Mayor.
-
Object Description
| Title | 1992_10 The Daily Collegian October 1992 |
| Alternative Title | Daily Collegian (California State University, Fresno) |
| Publisher | Associated Students of Fresno State, Fresno, Calif. |
| Publication Date | 1992 |
| Description | Daily (except weedends) during the school year. Microfilm. Palo Alto, Calif.: BMI Library Microfilms, 1986- microfilm reels; 35 mm. Vol.1, no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- |
| Subject | California State University, Fresno -- Periodicals. |
| Contributors | Associated Students of Fresno State. |
| Coverage | Vol.1 no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- to present |
| Format | Microfilm reels, 35 mm. |
| Technical Information | Scanned at 600 dpi; TIFF; Microfilm ScanPro 2000 "E-image data" |
| Language | eng |
Description
| Title | October 1, 1992, Page 3 |
| Alternative Title | Daily Collegian (California State University, Fresno) |
| Publisher | Associated Students of Fresno State, Fresno, Calif. |
| Publication Date | 1992 |
| Description | Daily (except weedends) during the school year. Microfilm. Palo Alto, Calif.: BMI Library Microfilms, 1986- microfilm reels; 35 mm. Vol.1, no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- |
| Subject | California State University, Fresno -- Periodicals. |
| Contributors | Associated Students of Fresno State. |
| Coverage | Vol.1 no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- to present |
| Format | Microfilm reels, 35 mm. |
| Technical Information | Scanned at 600 dpi; TIFF; Microfilm ScanPro 2000 "E-image data" |
| Language | eng |
| Full-Text-Search | October 1,1992 " "7 ■ The Daily Collegian Op/Ed-3 FUED Continued from page 2 "Okay, Dad, what do you do when you go to the circus?** "Well, I would say, get drunk and yell and make a fool of my¬ self.** "Survey says ..."Ding. "Num¬ ber three answer." Tom steps down the panel to sister Sheryl. "Hi honey." Tom' bends over and kisses the adoles¬ cent. Her eyes look sunk in due to an overshadowing of dark eye¬ liner. "No strikes on the board, dar¬ ling. What do you do at the circus? Now, remember, this is a family show."The siudio audience laughs. "Weyall, I'd probably give my boyfriend a hand job." Ma smacks her across her head. Buzzzz. "Awww, there's your first strike." Tom moves down to big brother Bill. "Bill, nice tattoo."Tom points to a large green eagle on Bill's arm, sticking out from his cut off sleeve. "Wanna see my tattoo Bill?" The audience laughs as Tom feigns a motion to drop his drawers. Bill turns red. "Hell no!" "Nan, Bill, I'm just pulling your leg. You married Bill?" "Ya, Tom, I'm on my third one." "Only two ex-wives to avoid payments to, Bill? You must have some sorta secret for strong rela¬ tionships." N^l "I do there Tom. I haVe one saying for finding good women that my daddy there taught me. A good woman only needs one good open hand across the mouth. If it takes more, dump the bitch." "Now watch i hose love words there, Bill. Two answers left on the board. What do you do when you go to the circus?" "Pig out on junk food." "Survey says..." Ding! Tom moves down to younger brother J i m. Jim is wearing a poly¬ ester shirt, buttons open, collar pulled up. He has the tell-tale neck hickeys and long, wavy hair. His baseball cap says "Mechanics do it Dirty." "You look like a ladies man, Jim. Which do you like better— climbing under die hood to work on a two-tone primer Camaro or into the back scat to work on a two-ton Etorito-cating honey?" "Well, Tom, if the date goes good enough, I usually get to both." "Are you gonna get married someday, Jim?" Tom asks. "Sure. Wheneverl accidentally knock a chick up." "And when you take that inad¬ vertent love child to the circus, what would you do Jim?" "Uh,Td probably pay attention to the little nigral and try to make sure he has a good time." Tom looks incredulous. "Give the kids positive attention ... sur¬ vey says ..." Buzzz. 'Two strikes for the Yoder family." Tom moves down to Grandpa Joe. "How are you doing today, Grandpa Joe?" "Huh? My granddaughter drops her drawers for every boy she meets." "GrandPA!" "I got grandkids from half-a- dozen greaseballs all over town," the old coot continues unabated. "Why can't she just settle down with a cousin?" Tom asks, "What do you do when you go to the circus?" "I ain't making no fuss. I just wanted to go out and get some ice cream and they dragged me down here for..." Tom jumps on the opportunity. "Eat iccccecrreeeam. Survey says ..." Buzzzzz. "Now the McFarlands have a \S Kappa Alpha Theta's kite flies ever higher. Congratulations new members v \Alice Aperocho Gina Kandarian Michelle Logoluso Joanna Martin Melissa Ouzounian Michele Papagni Gracia Philip Stacey Pickett Robyn Rader April Thompson Lori Vasquez Michelle Wojewoda ... As we add ribbons to itfs tail. Come meet our new members Sunday Oct. 4th. at Sorority Presents. Andrea Borgetello Susan Bucholtz Stacy Buckley \Julie Doslak Angela Elliot Ashley Grimsley Charlotte Hibbs \fennifer Ives Amy Johnson Seannajuhnsoti chance to steal," Tom says walk¬ ing over to the other family gath¬ ered together shooting ideas for that final answer. "Pick my nose." 'Throw pop¬ corn at the animals." "Yell cuss words when it's quiet." "Pop little kids' balloons." Tom walks up to the head of the family. He's wearing a T-shirt that says "Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Made Me What I Am today." "So, dad, this is for all die money." "I'd have to say grab a piece a nice ass in line and act like I didn * t doit" "Survey says..." Ding. CRIME Continued from page 2 Monica Hospital, in the CPS ar¬ ticle. . So, you can be assured that with this law in' force, (and help from you in the campus commu¬ nity in alerting us to crime you may hear about or be a victim of) we at The Daily Collegian will do our best to bring you information about crime on campus. Because we all need to know*- what can potentially affect us individually in a very private and horrible way. O • . CLASSIFIEDS Immigration GREEN CARD LOTTERY 40,000 Available, Final Year Apply Now - 1-800- 767-5906 EARN $1,500 WEEKLY mailing our circulars! ... Begin NOW!... FREE packets! SEYS, Dcpt. 27, Box 4000, Cordova, TN 38018- 4000. MAC 512K w/external drive 300,000 obo Nancy 277-1081 For Rent Apartment For Rent Walk to School 2Br + 2Ba$365;lBr$295 647 W. Barstow Ave, Clovis 299-5851 NEED MONEY FOR Come home to easy going household quiet Fig-garden: S225 COLLEGE? EDUCATIONAL +1/4 utililics. 221-0617. RESOURCES 805-646 - 4867. Summer mgmt Internship with the largest, most experienced student painting company in the industry. Valuable experience managing a team of employees, customers, and supplies. Potential for advancements in future due to constant growth. Most hiring done by Nov. So motivated peopto need to apply now. Call Student Works Painting (Formerly Student Painters) 1 -800 -394 -6000. For Sale Sofa & Love scat beige & blue xlint cond. $300- 438-9020 Collegian Advertising 278 - 5734 Call to Reserve Space Today! Responsible female roommate needed. 3 bedroom house near FSU| $250/month + 1/3 bills. Jen 221 8238. Female roommate needed near CSUF call Liz at work 227-3933. Bedroom rental female non- smoker/drinker Old-Town Clovis S235/monih utililics included shared bath references $75 deposit 298-1697 \ -' Misc. Lose weight easily and keep it off guaranteed. Call 497 - 8448. Diana's Typing Service Thesis, Term Papers, etc. near CSUF, 431-0730 Want to earn extra $ S S part-time call 497 - 8448. God & Mike Eagles, a # 1 rich successful leader Fresno f Mayor. - |
