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1992_08 The Daily Collegian August 1992

August 31, 1992, Page 3

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Auoust 31, 1992
ThFDaily Collegian
_: ■*-.-
&/$>■%
Regular Opinion Page Features
MOHDA
about anything from Dan Quayle to Mike Brady. '\
Tuesday: Fvnnt mmmn A witty look at all that has happened in the past week and what you can expect during the week to come on the CSUTcampuv^'
Widmisday: Commn 1—Michael Handorfs Right-wing Libertarian views on
the world.
Thursday:
Iksidi Tm Dajiy Coumuam A column on the inner workings of The Daily Collegian... Why The Daily CoftSgian does what it does,pofe^0te.
Friday:
CotuMM 1—AJIessandria Polizzi writes on women's issues, politics and environment from a liberal perspective.
T
DLAME
Continued from pace 2
tion will be protected and every¬ one everywhere will be treated fairly."
Mr. Brown, you are reading from your party's last two plat¬ forms. How can you be the party for change?
"Well* this time we are going to hide our party's liberal elders during the election and if you give us lots of tax dollars, we'll give you more change than you' ve ever dreamed of."
Now that both parties have the it platforms laid out, we must ad¬ dress the issue of the conventions.
Mr. Brown, your party gets first crack at convention planning, what do you propose?
"We will convene in NewYork City, but we will clear the streets of all homeless people and keep protests toaminimum. Our con¬ vention will have lots of balloons, choreography and all-around togetherness."
Sounds like a Republican convention, Mr. Brown.
"Well, weareachangingparty.
"We will have a hometesseolor guard present the colors at the beginning of the convention and will continue to champion civil rights by having a member of every underrepresented group speak. We also hereby declare 1992 to be 'The Year of the
Woman*."
Just like 1988, Mr. Brown?
"Ya, women are sort of like Olympic sports in our party; we pay attention to them every four years.
"After our gala sjng-along to Fleetwood Mac, our candidates will hit the road-get this-by wis! Are we the party of the people or what?"
Mr. Bond, what is your con¬ vention agenda?
"Our little gathering will be held at the Houston Astrodome. We thought it would be nice for the President to be in front of the hometown -folks."
Mr. Bond, the President rents a hotel room there for tax pur¬ poses.
"Pleasedon't mention the T- word' around the President
"Anyway, we will have a lot more balloons than the Demo¬ crats and none of that silly danc¬ ing- noonc in our party has rhythm anyway. To show mat we are the party of the people, we will let pro-choice Republican Labor Secretary Lynn Martin speak."
About abortion, Mr. Bond?
"Of course not, but at least she'll be on the stage. We also demand to let the same homeless color guard present the colors, because we are the militaristic-I
Kennel Bookstore
For All Your Baek lb School Needs!
J (DaJtctulallors
M SUPPLIES' ,<ratnrils>
Books • Kennel Copy Center • VCR & Movie Rental* Personal Computers • One-Day Photo Processing • Imprinted Clothing & Gifts • Study Guides •References- Supplies
Art, Engineering, Nursing , Biology, etc.
Store Hours
Mon. - Thurs. 7:45 a.m. - 7:15 p.m.
Friday 7:45 a.m. - 5:00 p.jri.
Saturday 10:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m.
v
278-4062
mean national defense-party.'*
What about that people really care about, Mr. Bond? • "Oh, we've got those covered We are pro-God, and we really ' like families a whole heck of a lot" ' -y
Are you saying the Democrats are athiestk, anti-family commu- , nists? ' "You said that, I didn't."
Well folks, that wraps up this edition of the Blame Game-1992. Be sure to tune in nex t week when the topic is "everything wrong with this country is your fault, I'll take credit for world peace.*' -
EAGLES *
Continued from page 2
Sheriffs departments.
4. Establish a strong Mayor form of government instead of a strong city manager form of gov¬ ernment
5. Establish goals and mis¬ sions for the city.
6. Use outside contractors for many services to save money.
7. Rcplacc^thc fire department paramedics with those of a pri- - vale company saving S2 million.
8. Neighborhood watches to be improved.
9. Everybody should join the Citizen's Police Academy Sept. 2 at City College ,
10. Implement the Little Hoover Commission report.
AX. More jobs for Fresno people.
By the way, my occupation is in the home improvement busi¬
ness and I am the chief executive officer (C.E.O).
Mike Eagles
Daily . Collegian
IS STILL ACCEPTING AP¬ PLICATIONS for:
•StaffWriters •Sports Writers •Photographers •Graphics Editor •Advertising Rep¬ resentatives • News Aide •On-Campus Dis¬ tributor
(We now have a golf cart for newspaper distribution* so it's
AN EASY $100 A
month!)
ALL
POSITIONS ARE
PAID!
CLASSIFIEDS
Ililk-l: The Jewish Student Group of CSUF holds welcome Bar-B-Q: O'Neill Park MONDAY, September 7,6:00-8:00pm In formation: 278 - 6237
GREEN CARD LOTTERY
40,000 Available, Final Year Apply Now - 1-800-767-5906
God & Mike Eagles, rich successful
Republidan leader
Fresno Mavor
COLLEGIAN ADVERTISING
278-5734
D
J.

Object Description

Title	1992_08 The Daily Collegian August 1992
Alternative Title	Daily Collegian (California State University, Fresno)
Publisher	Associated Students of Fresno State, Fresno, Calif.
Publication Date	1992
Description	Daily (except weedends) during the school year. Microfilm. Palo Alto, Calif.: BMI Library Microfilms, 1986- microfilm reels; 35 mm. Vol.1, no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)-
Subject	California State University, Fresno -- Periodicals.
Contributors	Associated Students of Fresno State.
Coverage	Vol.1 no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- to present
Format	Microfilm reels, 35 mm.
Technical Information	Scanned at 600 dpi; TIFF; Microfilm ScanPro 2000 "E-image data"
Language	eng

Description

Title	August 31, 1992, Page 3
Alternative Title	Daily Collegian (California State University, Fresno)
Publisher	Associated Students of Fresno State, Fresno, Calif.
Publication Date	1992
Description	Daily (except weedends) during the school year. Microfilm. Palo Alto, Calif.: BMI Library Microfilms, 1986- microfilm reels; 35 mm. Vol.1, no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)-
Subject	California State University, Fresno -- Periodicals.
Contributors	Associated Students of Fresno State.
Coverage	Vol.1 no.1 (Feb 8, 1922)- to present
Format	Microfilm reels, 35 mm.
Technical Information	Scanned at 600 dpi; TIFF; Microfilm ScanPro 2000 "E-image data"
Language	eng
Full-Text-Search	Auoust 31, 1992 ThFDaily Collegian _: ■-.- &/$>■% Regular Opinion Page Features MOHDA about anything from Dan Quayle to Mike Brady. '\ Tuesday: Fvnnt mmmn A witty look at all that has happened in the past week and what you can expect during the week to come on the CSUTcampuv^' Widmisday: Commn 1—Michael Handorfs Right-wing Libertarian views on the world. Thursday: Iksidi Tm Dajiy Coumuam A column on the inner workings of The Daily Collegian... Why The Daily CoftSgian does what it does,pofe^0te. Friday: CotuMM 1—AJIessandria Polizzi writes on women's issues, politics and environment from a liberal perspective. T DLAME Continued from pace 2 tion will be protected and every¬ one everywhere will be treated fairly." Mr. Brown, you are reading from your party's last two plat¬ forms. How can you be the party for change? "Well this time we are going to hide our party's liberal elders during the election and if you give us lots of tax dollars, we'll give you more change than you' ve ever dreamed of." Now that both parties have the it platforms laid out, we must ad¬ dress the issue of the conventions. Mr. Brown, your party gets first crack at convention planning, what do you propose? "We will convene in NewYork City, but we will clear the streets of all homeless people and keep protests toaminimum. Our con¬ vention will have lots of balloons, choreography and all-around togetherness." Sounds like a Republican convention, Mr. Brown. "Well, weareachangingparty. "We will have a hometesseolor guard present the colors at the beginning of the convention and will continue to champion civil rights by having a member of every underrepresented group speak. We also hereby declare 1992 to be 'The Year of the Woman." Just like 1988, Mr. Brown? "Ya, women are sort of like Olympic sports in our party; we pay attention to them every four years. "After our gala sjng-along to Fleetwood Mac, our candidates will hit the road-get this-by wis! Are we the party of the people or what?" Mr. Bond, what is your con¬ vention agenda? "Our little gathering will be held at the Houston Astrodome. We thought it would be nice for the President to be in front of the hometown -folks." Mr. Bond, the President rents a hotel room there for tax pur¬ poses. "Pleasedon't mention the T- word' around the President "Anyway, we will have a lot more balloons than the Demo¬ crats and none of that silly danc¬ ing- noonc in our party has rhythm anyway. To show mat we are the party of the people, we will let pro-choice Republican Labor Secretary Lynn Martin speak." About abortion, Mr. Bond? "Of course not, but at least she'll be on the stage. We also demand to let the same homeless color guard present the colors, because we are the militaristic-I Kennel Bookstore For All Your Baek lb School Needs! J (DaJtctulallors M SUPPLIES' , Books • Kennel Copy Center • VCR & Movie Rental Personal Computers • One-Day Photo Processing • Imprinted Clothing & Gifts • Study Guides •References- Supplies Art, Engineering, Nursing , Biology, etc. Store Hours Mon. - Thurs. 7:45 a.m. - 7:15 p.m. Friday 7:45 a.m. - 5:00 p.jri. Saturday 10:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. v 278-4062 mean national defense-party.'* What about that people really care about, Mr. Bond? • "Oh, we've got those covered We are pro-God, and we really ' like families a whole heck of a lot" ' -y Are you saying the Democrats are athiestk, anti-family commu- , nists? ' "You said that, I didn't." Well folks, that wraps up this edition of the Blame Game-1992. Be sure to tune in nex t week when the topic is "everything wrong with this country is your fault, I'll take credit for world peace.' - EAGLES Continued from page 2 Sheriffs departments. 4. Establish a strong Mayor form of government instead of a strong city manager form of gov¬ ernment 5. Establish goals and mis¬ sions for the city. 6. Use outside contractors for many services to save money. 7. Rcplacc^thc fire department paramedics with those of a pri- - vale company saving S2 million. 8. Neighborhood watches to be improved. 9. Everybody should join the Citizen's Police Academy Sept. 2 at City College , 10. Implement the Little Hoover Commission report. AX. More jobs for Fresno people. By the way, my occupation is in the home improvement busi¬ ness and I am the chief executive officer (C.E.O). Mike Eagles Daily . Collegian IS STILL ACCEPTING AP¬ PLICATIONS for: •StaffWriters •Sports Writers •Photographers •Graphics Editor •Advertising Rep¬ resentatives • News Aide •On-Campus Dis¬ tributor (We now have a golf cart for newspaper distribution* so it's AN EASY $100 A month!) ALL POSITIONS ARE PAID! CLASSIFIEDS Ililk-l: The Jewish Student Group of CSUF holds welcome Bar-B-Q: O'Neill Park MONDAY, September 7,6:00-8:00pm In formation: 278 - 6237 GREEN CARD LOTTERY 40,000 Available, Final Year Apply Now - 1-800-767-5906 God & Mike Eagles, rich successful Republidan leader Fresno Mavor COLLEGIAN ADVERTISING 278-5734 D J.

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