1996_05 Insight May 1996

              PAGE 2
Editorial
MAY 8,1996
TV's sex, sex and more sex
unseemly family fare today
ily programminMieed fTTreali/e thai,
in the 70s. television was purely entertainment and not a baby sitter.
In the 70s. w hen (here w as no quality programming on. ihe television
was turned off. Today ihe television
is never turned off.
Why do parenis want to force television Of) their children"?
by Bridget Carter
Staff Writer
Television refieeis reality.
In the 1970s, television took a
den. bul promising turn in prime
programming.
addressed social ills through the medium lhal held the attention of the
entire nation.
"All in the Family" set ihe standard
for modern-day television by introducing Archie Bunker, played'by
Carrol Connor, as a bigot.
Bv displaying racial prejudice in
I Ihe s
ledv. ihe
.orbed into
Through the humor of "All in the
Family." the controv ersial issues vv ere
delivered directly to ihe homes of    his wife. It filled the airwaves with
millions. double entendres and sexual innuen-
Ameriean life are exactly what yuppie
parenis want iheir children to watch.
These are the shows they are demanding the networks force feed down the
throat of every American, every nighl.
every week, every month.
Some may think these programs are
entertaining.
Programs that do address the social
dilemmas faced by today's children
are considered loo racy and explicit
for young v iewers.
But when the 70s programming is
further examined, racial prejudices
were not the only issues confronted.
"Three's Company." another 70s
comedy lhal featured a bachelor pretending to be gay who lived with two
attractive, single women, a sleazy,
wannabe ladies' man as a neighbor
and a landlord who couldn't "satisfy"'
This is ihe powerful impact television is has upon its viewers.
A collection of parents in America
consider current prime time program-
mini: inappropriate lor children. They
want networks to offer one hour of
prime lime television lhat is dedicated
lo "family programming."
ABC. NBC and CBS offer family-
oriented Friday nigfil line-ups. Some
of ihe shows featured are "Family
Matters." "'Step by Step" and "The
Nanny."
These inadequate depictions of
does.
For the first time in television history, sex. sex and more sex was everywhere. The majority of programs
contained some form of adult content
"Friends." one of today's TV
blockbusters, contains less talk about
sex in one half hour than "Three's
Company" contained in 10 minutes.
Today's 20- lo 30-year-olds were
weaned on shows like "All in the
Family." ""Three's Company" and
AVKRP in Cincinnati."
•The people who are pushing fam-
Fewer than five years ago. telev i-
sion was the evil monster that invaded
homes across America and sucked in
families. ,,
And now, parents are.forcing networks to air mindless shows like
"'Family Mailers." "Step by Step" and
"The Nanny."
This is not the remedy.
Read a book or do homework.
These are just a few alternatives to
television: Little League baseball.
Girl Scouts. Pop Warner football. Boy
Scouts and soccer.
The answer lay in the power that
parenis have over their children.
There are millions of constructive
things to do rather than sitting and
wailing for television lo educate on
what it deems important.
Sitting in front of the telev ision.
day after day. will not prov ide children with the life skills ihey will so
desperately need in the future.
By granting the power of education
lo television alone, society is heading toward the further degradation of
values and ideologies.
mion
Carnivores' insults vexing to this vegetarian
by Ron Armstrong
Staff Writer
The multitude of responses ran the
entire emotional gamut, ranging from
vague confusion to strong repulsion
to outright disgust.
Really strange, when you consider
all I did was order a sandwich without meat.
As Americans, we are so conditioned to having meal w ith every meal
that most people don't know how to
deal with a vegetarian. This includes
food servers, friends and co-workers.
Food servers are quite possibly the
worst at handling vegetarians.
The high-school sophomore standing behind the counter at McDonald's
doesn't seem to understand lhat you
can forgo thc Canadian bacon when
making an Egg McMuffin. and it's
still an Egg McMuffin.
I am an ovo-lacto vegetarian, vv hich
means I will eat eggs and oilier dairy
products.
Sometimes I get what I order. But.
. I usually end up with a slightly soggy
English muffin with a single slice of
American processed cheese, for
which I am happily charged full price.
And that's an easy one. After all.
they call it an Egg McMuffin. Try
ordering a sausage biscuit with egg.
without sausage. Three times out of
four, the cashier will call the store
manager to figure out how to ring il
up.
Mv wife and I like sushi.
It is a great, low-fat food. Since
there are easier vv |v s to gel mercury
der our sushi without it.
Skip the fish
The last time we went out for sushi.
we lold ihe chef we wanted a specific
menu item vv ithotit the fish. When he
wanted to know vvhv. I replied that
we didn't eat fish. He looked at us in
surprise and asked. •"Then why did
me her
N'>
When I lold ihem I was planning
to give up meat, one of them looked
at my hard-earned spare tire and said
with a grin. "Yeah, right^" He then
asked if he should fire up the tjarbe-
Pizza follies
One night I had the gang 0
olives and bell peppers, which my
friends quickly dubbed as the rabbit
pizza.
They ordered a combination pizza,
which I called the carnivore's delight.
(I had to gel my shots in. too.)
When the pizzas arrived, one of my
friends grabbed a slice, took a big bite
and exclaimed how good it was.
When I pointed out he was eating a
veggie slice, his face contorted and
he handed il to me.
Once. I actually saw my brother-
in-law put food from his plate back
into (he bowl when he found out it
.eisiuii of that
dish.
This is the same man who unknowingly ale several meatless sausages
without voicing a single complaint.
My co-workers aren't very supportive either.
Our vice president was planning a
party for the employees and he asked
our department about thc menu. He
was open to suggestions but was leaning toward barbecuing steaks.
Realizing that his choice would
leave me without a lunch. 1 gave him
my opinion.
How about a taco salad. I said. You
know, lettuce, refried beans, cheese.
Il's delicious — and something 1
could actually cat.
Bul this idea was immediately
squashed by my supervisor who told
the VP my vote didn't count because
I was. well, a vegetarian.
How rude.
The head of security loves to torment me.
His usual catcalls are. "Hey, !et"s
go hunting this week and shoot
Bambi." Or the ever-so-clever. "I
made some menudo last night, want
some?"
I subtly hinted that maybe someone with a history of heart attacks
before the age of 50 shouldn't talk.
I guess thai wasn't so subtle after
all.
Words of advice
To sum it up. here are some things
to remember if you're thinking of becoming a vegetarian:
1. Eating a salad for lunch is perfectly fine if you're dieting but not if
you're a vegetarian.
2. A mushroom and olive pizza is
OK but a veggie pizza isn't.
3. A diet of donuts, French fries and
caffeine-free Pepsi is technically vegetarian, but it's not really a good idea
(1 figured this out 20 pounds later).
4. Vegetarians generally don't think
a sunny day means it's a good day to
go fishing.
5. "Veggie" is nol a four-letter
Auto
alarms
awaken
world
by Tommielynn Del Real
Staff Writer
That loud, annoying car alarm is
going off again.
Everyday car alarms are heard so
frequently that people ignore them
and do nothing.
At the Bulldog Lane Village apartments, they go off during all hours of
the nighl and al the worst times possible.
Il's a hot night. You're getting ready-
to go to sleep, but before you do. you
open the window for some fresh air.
When you have almost fallen into a
deep sleep, a car alarm goes off.
Everyone is familiar with the sound
thai is reminiscent of lire trucks roaring down a street and a 18-wheeler
truck honking it's horn.
Nightly chacs
Believing it will stop only clarifies the different sounds over and over.
Ten minutes of ruckus seems like
You hear people yelling '>""< 'heir
w indow s for someone to turn that car
How can anyone gel some sleep?
My roommate called the apartment service to see if they were
going to do anything about it.
The apartment service said lhat
we were not ihe first people to complain and said that they would take
care of it.
So far, nothing has happened.
Finally, the car alarm reset: silence
was achieved. Thank God! As you
drift back to sleep, you pray the alarm
doesn't go off again.
The purpose of car alarms is to let
the owner know their car is being broken into. But. when they go off. no
one even looks or cares w hat is going
Most of the time, all alarms do arc
make a lol of noise and irritate people.
If there was really a car theft occurring, no one would check lo sec.
Turn down the sensor
If you are going to have an alarm
on your car. then take the responsibility and check on it when it goes
off. Don't just let it keep going off.
Sensors need to be turned down
so that they don't just go off when
the wind blows or it rains.
It's fine if you want an alarm for
protection, but the whole world
does not need to know this.
Turning down car alarms sensors
should not be that hard. Don't all car
alarms come with a manual? Use the
manual— il's not just for looks.
You never know what you might
learn and how helpful it would be to
students who want to sleep without
-y. noisy disturbances
)CUS
When aluminum grows on trees, it will be OK for baseball bats
by Matt Lloyd
Staff Writer
Major League Baseball is back.
And after one month of games, it's
back with a vengeance. Games are
more exciting than ever, with teams
scoring more and hitting more home
runsjhan ever before.
Two weeks ago. thc Minnesota
Twins beat the Detroit Tigers. 2-4-11.
Let's just look at the Tiger's astronomical score of 11. Eleven runs by
any team assures a win 99 times out
of 100. Yet the Tigers were still humiliated after their impressive offensive exhibition.
Even the Twins' manager. Tom
Kelly, was embarrassed. He actually
apologized after thc game.
This year, baseball is like the freak
show at the carnival.
The reason is simple.
With no one
MLB headquar
hung
s pui
:harge down in
their heads 10-
"This year we're playing with aluminum bats." the memo lo the players, managers and coaches read. "And
were not going lo lell anybody."
That's right, no more playing
around with the wood. We're talking
home runs. baby.
It's Balscam.
Hints of a scandal
Now the owners aren't siupid. They
are not about lo insult the intelligence
of their faithful fans whoshell out SI2
for a game.
There had lo be a way of getting
the bats into ihe game in a subtle,
sneaky manner..
Well. I've got the inside tip on how
the scam is being carried out.
You see. Oliver Stone called me the
other day and asked if I had noticed
the outrageous scores and statistics
earned in thc great American pastime
this season. /
Sure. Ollie. (We*re buds, you see,
and 1 can call him Ollie) I know exactly what your talking about, I said. I
haven't seen a single bat break over a
strikeout victim's leg yet this season.
Ollie look in my observation and
proceeded to tell me of the giant conspiracy Major League Baseball has
undertaken in an effort to resuscitate
thc game.
It's simple, he said. They put aluminum rods, which are illegal in the
majors, inside their wooden bats.
This way. the fans will never know
the difference. And at the same time,
the game will be higher scoring.
Thus, the games become more exciting, more fans attend and more
money is ushered into the waiting
arms of the owners.
Stranger things have happened.
Incredible statistics
To support his claim, the king of
modem conspiracy pointed out the
amazing statistics of the 1996 baseball season.
After 656 games, major leaguers
have smacked a total of 713 dingers.
That averages out to 25.46 home runs
per team.
That's quite a few homers.
Throughout this decade, baseball
has never seen so many homers so
quickly.   .
From 1990 to 1994 (1995 stats ex
cluded because of the strike), learns
had averaged only 18.29 homers at
this point in lhc season.
Stability is one of the joys of baseball. Thc game has changed so little
over the years, that when comparing
stats like this, it's easy to see the discrepancies.
Plus, Ollie went on. Brady Anderson of the Baltimore Orioles has hit
more homers (12) than anyone else
in thc slugger-filled American
League.
Now. Anderson is an All-Star. A
great center fielder and lead-off hitter, but his name has never even been
thought of when it comes to thc power
swings of the game. With an aluminum bat. however, his swing would
have the power of a Mike Tyson up-
percut.
"So, whaddaya think?" Ollie asked.
"Are we talking a movie script or
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what?'"
Ollie. I said, stats are great, but they
can't dictate the prowess and ability
ofthe players. There are just too many
exceptions.
Teams gel streaky. Hitlers get into
grooves. Pitchers-have lousy outings.
There are too many factors involved
to pin everything on a conspiracy
theory.
I don'l buy it.
Look at the Kansas City Royals.
Even wiih a designated hitter in the
lineup every day. they have only hit
seven home runs so far.
In this decade, only the Boston Red
Sox have hit fewer homers, when, in
'92. they had only hit six after a month
of games.
That's easy, Ollie said, not wanting his theory to die so quickly. It's
another conspiracy, Kansas City has
been paid off not to use thc bats.
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