1983_04 Insight April 1983

              April 27. IMS
OPINION
Insight
Insight
InvKhi is ptihltshrd on Wi<dnrsdays during thr .Kjc/crrw yiyr
by thr l>T>.irtmrnt til hmrruiltsm. California Statr Unnrrsily.
fris/vi UnsiiiniKl (iAron.i/\ rrprrsrnt thr maturity uprnmn ol thi-
ldiliirt.il Hoard. All other < olumns. hltrrs and artwork on this naur
rrpri'srnt thr opinions i>» ihrtr rrsprstivr authors and not
no i-\\.irily ttut ol Insight's
PtTTER SCOT1
ROBERT C
JEFF KRAU!
MICHAEL T
CYNDI GUERRA, assiii\itceditor-<oby
CRIS MOWaHAN. tjjocWe eoVtor - news 4 features
KATHRYN KARLE; jdvrrtis** managi-r
^Ejie new federalist papers
Sean Canfleid        j*he Plucky Boys fire back
Scott Hatfield
Expanding Vintage Days
Insight wishes the best of luck to the
various peoples involved in Vintage Days this
year. Insight hopes Vintage Days (no VD
references, please) goes well, a splendid time
being guaranteed for all, etc. Insight calls for
the best behaviour from those attending, both
students and not, although the nots probably
won't know we're calling for them to behave
well.
There, that's out of the way. Now Insight
can moan and groan, having discharged our
quota of platitudes. Vintage Days is a great
idea, if only because it keeps a few students
on campus longer than it takes them to run off
campus after their last class. It also brings
other people on campus to enjoy both the
events and the grounds.
Vintage Days gives California State
University Fsesno a needed emphasis oh the
word university. This school is not a mere college — it is a community endeavour, a center
for this whole locale to learn, if we take learn
in the broader sense. This sounds corny, but
there is a kernal of truth engendered here.
Vintage Days melds students and community
into a cohesive unit
In theory.
Which is to say it does it doesn't. Earlier
this semester, during the Great Kinks Kon-
troversy, it was said that Vintage Days is considered a predominantly Anglo activity. Insight won't vouch for the veracity of that
statement, but if somebody said it, then the
odds are somebody felt it. Sort of shoots the
theoretical collegiality all to hell. It's not a
function of whether Vintage Days really is
Anglo territory, which Insight tends to doubt,
but rather that a segment of the student body
feels that way.
To explore the issue a little further, the
Vintage Days Concert can be examined. The
genre of choice is always pop. Already a
healthy handful of students are disaffected.
Not too seriously, but it has happened. Pop
usually translates as rock. Presto, more people on tbe outs. This year, it's "New" rock
(How Roxy Music has come to be lumped into
"New Wave" rock Insight would love to
know.). Now even the rockers are split.
All this is just on campus. The community
hasn't even reared its head. Look at the mess
the concert is in, and James Watt didn't even
help choose. So is Vintage Days only for "New
Wave" Anglos?        ^_^
No. Vintage Days is for anyone that
shows up and has fun. Maybe the concert isn't
for everyone, but then there's a lot more
treats in store. Vintage Days will reward the
individual in proportion to what the individual
supplies. If Vintage Days appeals to the group
that doesn't include you, come out and bend
the parameters back and let yourself in.
Vintage Days is like almost any community celebration in that respect. In order to participate, you must do exactly that. Vintage
Days will not enlarge its scope if the people it
would accommodate aren't there to be accomodated.
At any rate, the celebration should be as
broad based as possible. All year long there
are celebrations that extol the virtues of any
one group or set of similar seeing people. Let
Vintage Days be the melding that this campus
needs.
This melding should go beyond merely
uniting those on campus, especially since
those who live on campus are hugely outnumbered by those who live away from
school. That fact in itself points out that CSUF
does not exist in a vacuum, but in fact is plunked down in the middle of Fresno County, which
in turn is plunked down in the middle of the
Central Valley. When community is mentioned, the Valley is it
The community takes note of CSUF when
the football or basketbaU teams are hot and
during Vintage Days. This campus doesn't exactly smother from over-attention. Insight
doesn't mean to denigrate the efforts of those
in community who don't fit this stereotype,
only those that do.
This is tricky ground .for Insight. This
school is more the apple of this area's collective eye than almost any other comparable
set-up. But Insight isn't interested in the
relative^ but in the absolute (We want tbe
world, and we want it now.).
But the community does generally follow
the pattern described. So this is what Insight
proposes, and no, that's not a pie, it's tbe
moon. Once all the students have created
their niche in the Vintage Days panorama,
and the community has docilely followed
them in, why not keep them there? All of us
are in the same boat or vat after all. CSUF
people have to live in the community, and the
community must accommodate CSUF. So
let's make each other comfortable.
That's why Insight complimented the
Vintage Days workers first They've got a big
job in front of them. Good luck.
The Plucky Boys Fir* Bock, or.
Why Aren't You Happy — You've
Never Had It Better."
KERSPLOOSH!
Another sahro from the "B.H.L.
(Bleedtng Heart Liberal) Gory Slmp~
ton" had Just whlxzed harmlessly by
the "A.CJs. (Americana for Conservative Action) 'Plucky Boys'" Ihe
crew, made up of Jolly boys that
. "always will be better than others"
responded to Capt. Sean Canfield's
order to return fire.
During the roar of combat, one of
(wbo could not
»
If it
was true that be (Sean Canfield) was
a member of the "wealthy,
sophisticated, elite."
Seen looked tired (he had been up
past his bedtime), so his response was
rather pert. "Whoever thinks that Is
either prejudiced or doesn't know me
at all. I have never been wealthy. In
fact, after my dad died on March IS,
1961,1 have been down-right poor. For
18 months, I have received some of
my dad's money! in the form of Social
Security), scholarships, and a few
dollars from Jobs at minimum
wage — but I have never had more
than J2,ooo to my name. As far as
belonging to the sophisticated elite, no
member would want some peasant
boots, and an FMC net to belong to
such • respectable group. Wbo made
that false statement, anyway?"
"Why, tbe comtnartrltr of the
"B.H.L. Simpson." First Mate Scott
Hatfield looked flustered. "But,
Sean-" the Philistine First Mate
continued, "didn't Admiral Simpson
also accuse of being arrogant
elitists?"
"Schmuck," Captain Canfield
responded, "eighty percent of
Americans in a recent survey couldn't
identify Socrates, Buddha or Mohammed If their government paychecks
id upon it It's not so much
think we're so great. We Just
ze that tbe vast majority is ig-
fer needlessly in such a time of plenty
and profit. Indeed, Americans have
r had it better, not Just the'some
All we try to espouse Is education,
common sense, and an attitude of caring."
'But,  Sean,"   Hatfield whined
usly, "he thinks we're intellectual sbowoffs and that we spend hours
on end drafting our essays." The First
Mate yawned, "Even pest our bedtime."
"WeU, I hate to dispel another
prejudice," the captain conservative
ideals, at worst a few hours a week. In
fact, scruomoxzle, couldn't find an
hour to span."
"I'm sorry, Sean" tbe first mate
sputtered fearfully, "don't make me
walk the plank."
"Never fear," the Captain said,
"I would not have any American suf-
thanks to fiscal conservatives in tbe
current Administration) tbe buying
power and education of tbe average
American is higher than it has ever
been in history."
"Yet," the first mate interjected,-
"we're surrounded by people like
Simpson wbo smell bad and point to
tbe 'worst unemployment rate since
1940' as a sign of America's economic
decline."
"What," moaned Sean, "do we
owe this dementia of the tower
classes, whose numbers have steadily
decreased since World War II?"
"Perhaps," Hatfield mused,
"they have a disease, called 'Depres-
sionitis,' wherein every negative
aspect of tbe economy is hailed as a
return to Hooverville."
"WeU put," Seen stated.
Hatfield beamed. "I was up hours
on end thinking that one up, sir."
KERSPLOOSH!
"That's it!" the captain said,
"Damn tbe torpedoes, full-speed
ahead!"
P.S. Sean and Scott aren't really
Philistines, who are really fine people, by the way — we're just CSUF
students like the rest of you. Be with
us next week when we present a
modest proposal to curb unemployment, help the poor, and destroy Infla-
Missive from a former editor:
■     CSUF as Wall St. West
MATT SPERLING
"Tha business of the American
people Is business." ^^—»
-Calvin Coolidge
Rest in peace, Calvin. The CSUF
student world will breathe • litUe
easier next week when Guarantee
Savingrand Bank of America jointly
open their new automatic teller kiosk
on campus. Hooray for1 progress.
This latest advance in consumer
banking will auiiiseStudent* to get
their money quicker and more often.
That's nice — tbe way fees have been
increasing, students wiU have to
make cash withdraws** as often as
Greek fire and brimstone
So tbe Greeks don't want no freaks.
At least not at most of their parties. Can
you imagine a Common CSUF student attending a party for Greeks only? What nerve!
What total disregard for the social structure!
And what if some Greek approaches this
Commoner and innocently asks, "And what
, fraternity are you from? I don't believe we've
met."
Ah, how the Commoner must think fast
while deciding between two options.(Should
he admit tbe truth, "I'm a GDI who doesn't
know the difference between Alpha Beta and
Theta Chi." Or should he simply lie and nope
that this Greek won't ask him who any of his
brother s~a re?)
Opting for the latter to spare face for just
a few more minutes, tbe Commoner quickly
recalls the name of a fraternity scribbled on a
desk in his Basketweaving 101 course. "My
name is Biffy Jones and I'm a brother of
Alpha Gamma ... Rhoa. Yes, Alpha Gamma
Rhoa."
Though just a slight mispronunciation of
"Rho," the Commoner, quite unknowingly,
digs his own grave. Any brother would know
how to pronounce the Greek alphabet.
cleared up. Besides, according to World
Book Encyclopedia, "Fraternity life ...
develops skills in cooperation, leadership and
relations with other persons."
Though the world book is not Greek law, it
dees provide an idealized view of the role the
Greek system can play in a university.
It is our understanding that the Greek
system expands a member's life experiences.
But realistically, how can life experiences be
widened if Greeks only mingle with other
Greeks? Once out of the university and into
the "real world," Greek brothers or sisters
won't always be around to socialize with. At
some point in time, Greeks will have to
mingle with non-Greeks — so why not start at
the university level?
Greek members, much to their advantage, could take an active role in socially unifying CSUF students by attempting to include
all in various functions. If other universities
can publicly invite all students to functions,
why can't CSUF Greeks do the same.
Just before Rush Week last semester,
Three cheers each should also go
to the university consulting architect
and the campus pliBt*iatg committee,
who brilliantly located this stucco
monetary monument smack in tbe
middle of a peaceful little patch of
green grass and pine trees. It's sort of
like sticking a hippo to a lake full of
swans. James Watt would be proud.
Yes, this is a lovely service the AS
has left us. With dwindling revenues
and Ronald Reaganomlcs as President, it is only fitting mat big business
be brought in to save tbe students'
day.
I'm sure it's all part of a new
trend here. Future stories in Insight
may very well read something like
this:
• Oct. 20, 1983 -The Associated
Students Senate yesterday approved
construction of a drive-thru
McDonald's in tbe Free Speech area.
To commemorate the occasion,
McDonald's Corp. voted to change the
name of the Big Mac to "Big Haak."
Said one CSUF
administrator: "It's a proud day for
Fresno McState."
• Feb. 15, 1965 - Threatening a
lawsuit against CSUF, Burger King
was today given permission to build s
new franchise next to the Henry Madden Library. The AS Senate
unanimously endorsed tbe deal, telling Burger King, "Okay...have it
your way."
Sept  12,  1984- Citing brisk
Daily Collegian up for sale to tbe School of Chrysler, naming Lee Iacoc-
higbest bidder. They said that the ca as the school's dean,
newspaper's ad staff wasn't working "Who  needs  humanities?"  ex-.
bard enough and that the Collegian plained   one   campus   official.'
was "nothing but a bunch of racist "Besides, I can now get a $500 rebate'
animals anyway." on a LeBaron."
"I don't think the Collegian has To  make  room  for  tbe  new:
anything  to apologize for —we're Chrysler Building and factory, the.
number one," protested Miss Leeding east parkng lot will be destroyed,,
Adds, Collegian editor. Sbe praised leaving 12 student parkng places'oh
the work of her ad staff, then praised campus. However; general parking "
her own leadership. Then she was suckers will be reduced to only $565
tared. neiUamester.
• Nov. 1, 1985 - The Daily Col- > 'J& Wpt. 1, 1967 - CSUF today of-
legian yesterday was purchased by ficiaily   changed   its  name   to
The Plucky Boys, wbo irnmediately FSU - Financial State University,
renamed it  "The New Federalist • Dec.  12, 1967 - In a sudden
Paper."                 ~ move to generate more profits, FSU
• Dec. 3, 1985 — Realizing that yesterday raised its student fees to'
students weren't dumb enough to read $7,500 per semester, which includes
or   believe   anything   in   their the $8 health fee.
newspaper, Tbe Plucky Boys this "Of course tbe increase is fair,"
week weubeut^tbusiness, victims of one administrator said. "We need tbe
the old Reaganomlcs they so adored, money to survive. After all, we're Just
• March IV1987 - Complaining a school."
of ill health, Enuet and Julio Gallo
sold their CSUF winery to a religious
conglomerate headed by Blue Nuns. Matt Sperling is a senior jour-
• May 7, 1987 — In a reform of nallsm major from Los Angeles who
campus academics, CSUF ad- loves pine trees and green
ministretors dropped tbe School of gross - and plans to continue bank-
Arts and Humanities and created the Ing elsewhere.
Alan's Corner
AU sarcasm aside, why don't Greeks hold
a few more functions that allow all students to
attend. Not that they would attend, but at
least they'd have the option to. Who knows,
maybe this would result in a few more Greek
And by doing this, stereotyped ideas of
what fraternities and sororities are may be
Sigma Alpha Epsilon had an open 1
that included dancing for any CSUF student.
This was probably in an effort to generate interest in joining the fraternity, yet it is an
event like this that can create better fadings
toward the Greek system, as well as offer
students who normally would not interact tbe
fhflFK'*' to do so.
So how about it Greeks, is it that risky or
dangerous to include non-Greeks in a few
more fuiKUons? Afterall, Commoners are not
always freaks- and just think- Biffy Jones
might seriously consider joining a fraternity.
America announced that they will
move their West Coast headquarters
from Los Angeles to CSUF. To make
way for the new 50-story building, tbe
nearly-completed $10 million CU
Satellite will be torn down.
• March 7, IMS — Ernest and
Julio Gallo, seeking a change of pace,
decided today to move their home and
winery to CSUF. "We like to pick your
grapes," Julio said, "and we think
Fresno State is the perfect spawning
ground for free enterprise." Added
Ernest: "We want to compete in Air
Guitar."
May 5, 1965-The AS Senate,
pressure, again re-
s to create a free and
M
"Yon can't <
bookstore," said AS President Mickey
Monopoly. He Bate demanded expulsion of a student wbo dared suggest
that tbe campus bookstore wa* under
the same anti-trust laws as any other
•Oct 14. 1965 - The AS Senate
today announced that it would put the
ALANATAMIAN
After patronizing a bar recently, I
think some suggestions for new rules
of decorum are in order for patrons.
Dancing is one of the most exhilarating expressive forms of exercise and recreation that I know of
Some Christians look down on dancing
as bordering on fusion of vanity and
immorality; I don't buy that, thought
except when dancing seems to border'
on a form of public fdreplay can it
then be deemed closest to improper
for public exhibition.
This vulgarity was not expressed
at tbe bar I went to last week, but I
began reaquainting myself with the
structure of a drinking and dancing
way. Also never ask someone of tbe
same sex to dance with you. Now
mind you I would never do this, but .
don't even fathom attempting this as .
a Joke.
Statistics on violence within the
last fiscal year at tbe club should also
be published as no one enjoys being an  .
stabbed or shot. Also, predicUons tt
to patron reaction should be gauged. -
and published. For example, asking a
cowboy if be purchased his boots st.
Pic-'N'-Save renders a 42 ]
tal sine qua none of proper behavior
that I would like to suggest for such
establishments, whether they be
country-western, disco, or new wave
spots. I shall now creep precariously
along tbe linear oVmdrological ex-
trenuUes of incertitude— I will go out
one limb.
First, ere the rules of decorum.
Finally, (although I know I-.
haven't even scratched tbe surface). -
there should be a no-smoking section
in all bars. Some of us would Uke to j
have a couple of drinks without tbe :
pervasive nature of stifling tobacco ;
smoke around us.
Since I was running for A.S. <
President, I bed to take a 3-week '■
respite from tbe media for tbe equal '.
time law. It's good to be beck again. '.
CongratulaUons to all the candidates, ;
have a published set of proper and im-
to be distributed to patrons at the
door. These should include such
things as tbe right way to ask so-
meone to dance as well as the proper
way to accept rejecUon. The latter
courage one's pursuit of survival. I
learned thmt you axe not siipujsed to
touch someone's cowboy bat;
idn't learn It the hard
who voted.
Many thanks to Dr. Lucy Der )
Manuelian, the only PhD of Armenian '.
art history in the world, who delivered :
a fine lecture on 'Armenian ArcWtec- :
at CSUF. May the rest of her national..
tour prove quite successful.
In the «*«g»rt+«r»g department ap- :
peers my words for the week. Bon-: •
nydabber refers to sour coagulated-
milk. Hopefully, if you were forced to; a
consume this, you would accompany .
it with a serving of tasty baklava or '
paklava, not balaclava. The former •
two Items are the Greek and Anne- *
nlan names for tbe same sweet nutty '.
pastry. Tbe Utter is a full beard in '
British slang. Tally bo.