Granada Pioneer, April Fool's Edition

              Page 2__________REENOIP___________April 1, 1943
-------------------	REENOIP  ADANARG-------------------
   Published Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays,
Fridays, Saturdays, week ends  and Holidays by the Mc-
Clleland Publishing company and charged to each apart-
ment.     Editorial  office:  REENOIP building.
              Co-editors:     Kash U. Nut and Screw Ball
-------------------------------------------------------------
Yippee!
   REENOIP  on our  last anniversary takes  pleasure  in
announcing   to our  readers  that we have received the
left-at-the-post   award    for    our accurate  nosey news-
coverage.
   Accuracy, accuracy, and more accuracy has always
been  stressed by the REENOIP.   Everyone’s business
is our business.   Last with the latest--the truth
even if  it hurts   has  been our motto.
   Our constant effort toward producing a paper
unique in its leadership has been rewarded by this
latest award.
COME LATE,
STAY EARLY
   The new streamlined ball-
room which was completed
last week, will be open to
the public from tomorrow
night.
   The    ballroom    which  is
called    the   Granadium,   is-
located    on the  cool   green
hilltop,   overlooking beau-
tiful    Amache  Park and  the
picturesque   Twin Lakes.
   Besides having  the   latest
bands for your  dancing plea-
sures,     the  Granadium   will
feature     two    floor     shows
nightly.
   Orchids will be given to
The ladies who attend the
grand opening tomorrow eve-
ning.    Dancing will continue
from 2:30 a.m.
   Come  Early  and Have
      the   Time   of Your
                at the
          GRANADIUM
DRIPPY DROOP
DRIPS DROP
   The hospital laboratory
was hushed in deathly si-
lence.
   Technicians in white
uniforms were all holding
their breaths.
   Everyone was waiting
tensely.
   Suddenly...breaking the
stillness of the room, a
drip was heard.   Yes, Suyeo
Sako gave all of his blood.
(The drip did not refer to
Sako.)
JOB
==OPPORTUNITIES==
   Steady sober teetotaler,
for particulars  see Tosh
Ninomiya.  
   Women to dust sagebrush-
es.
   Seamstress to sew but-
tons on rattlers.
CALENDAR
   TODAY
3:33 a.m.--Lecture  by Mas
   Hamada,  "How to Obtain
   Dimples     on    Cheeks     as
   well  as  Knees,   9L laun-
   dry room.
2:22 a.m.--Swimming meet,
   Twin Lakes.
5:55 p.m.--Track and  field
   meet project director’s
   office.
7:99 p.m.--Horse     races,
   John Moore's   office.
   TOMORROW
4:88 p.m.--Motor boat  races,
   6F laundry  tubs.
6:66 a.m.--Six-ring circus.,
   Hanson Hall.
8:83 p.m.  Baby  show, goh
    and  shogi- room.
    SATURDAY
9:22 p.m.--Flea circus di-
   rected by Trainer Hippo
   Shibata,   Terry hall.
12:11 a.m.--Hole  digging
   contest between men over
   70  and children under
   10, 11E block information
   office.
11:49 p.m.-Nani vs. Arē,
   project farm.
1:12 a.m.--Football game,
   Floppetes vs. Lezi
   Squaws,  barber   shop.
2:64 p.m.-Movies, "They
   Died with Their Boots
   On," and selected
   shorts.
HANGNAIL
   Scratches
        By ITCHY SAKO
---Eddie Yasumura, ace run-
ner for the elementary
school dashed into the
REENOIP office and gave us
the hottest  tip of the  year.
   Reported Eddie, "Well-
known " Betsy Matsuoka sec-
cretary  had  an operation
for  appendectomy performed
in the  elementary office.
Attending  physician  was Dr.
Enoch Dumas.”
---Michiko Sanui, junior
high librarian, became so
disgusted after seeing the
same old books  that she went
berserk and ate six luscious
books   for  her  lunch today.
---Meanwhile Mabel Andow,
senior high librarian, aft-
er a heated argument with
Principal S. Clay Coy over
the lack of good books,
made up her mind to solve
the problem herself.   On
today's program called,
"Between the Bookends", a
NBC radio feature, the book-
worm reported:
   "On the shelves of the
Amache senior high library
are ten sets of books, en-
titled, *My Past and My
Future,'  by Author Mabel
Andow.-and  furthermore I
cast my vote that this young
lady will be the probable
winner of 1943's coveted
Nobel Award in fine liter-
ature ."
---Everybody knows Yoshiko
Furukawa, the charming sec-
retary in the senior high
office.   This morning the
climax to her popularity
was attained when two un-
named admirers presented
her with a cow and a hog
from the Koen ranch.
---In dire need of material
for our magazine section,
yours truly started for the
great Katsumi Arimoto, editor
of the scout paper, Reveille,
apartment.   Nearing my des-
tination, spotting the one
and  only  Amache's  All-Amer-
ican basketeer and foot-
baller, Miles Hamada, I
yelled, "Hey, is Kats home?"
Before Miles could reply,
out came Kats with six kit-
tens trailing him!
---If my mind has wandered
from the beaten path, blame
it on the screwball editor,
blame it on the Hurrell
pictures, blame it on me,
yeah, blame it on me, it's
my mind.
"CORNY” - Ed. Note--Suyeo Sako